Ok...going to Chi-town tomorrow, got to get ready. Also, ELV moving, so I'm carrying some boxes on a warm, warm day. So, before I leave the comfort of A/C'ed room, I leave you with these clips courtesy of Giles, the Cuban businessman.
James Earl Jones is Darth Vader in this excellent mashup: Vader Sessions
Oddly hypnotic, you can still follow the freakin' movie, man. The curses really tied the movie together, man: The Big Lebowski: F--ing Short Version
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Points to mull over
Here's some random thoughts that are jumbling around:
- I got a new cell phone (Sony Erickson Walkman phone) that has all these bells and whistles, but the battery runs out ultra-quick. What's the point of all the doohickies, when you can't save enough juice to actually call someone?
- Poker note of the day: played a cash game with 11 other people at the hop, won $30. The neat thing is that I had lost $60 at the start, so that means I chipped back and had a swing of $90. That's comforting to me for some reason. That and I got PAID after flopping quad-7's.
- eBay thought of the day: you can't make money selling collectible cards if you buy boxes of unopened cards. The odds are stacked against you. However, buying cards and reselling them at a slightly greater price has been profitable...though actually a bit too slim for the amount of work involved. Still, not a bad little hobby.
- Job: what will chuck do for the next year: standardchuck maxim #2: Don't quit a job without finding another one to replace it. This swinging without a net is a bit disturbing.
- ELV is a great girlfriend. Enough said.
- I have too many gadgets, especially in comparison to my money status. Silly expenditures.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
A fair is a veritable smorgasbord
ArtScape...
When introducing the band, jazz up boring names...instead of "on sultry sax, give it up for Kevin," say something like "on sax, give it up for Sexy Teeth Kevin Mac-Daddy-O."
When progressing in the middle of a crowded walkway, try not to be obese, as it slows down the movement of all your peers caught behind you.
Chicken on a stick, or anything on a stick for that matter, is good. Chicken sans stick, strangely, not so good.
When introducing the band, jazz up boring names...instead of "on sultry sax, give it up for Kevin," say something like "on sax, give it up for Sexy Teeth Kevin Mac-Daddy-O."
When progressing in the middle of a crowded walkway, try not to be obese, as it slows down the movement of all your peers caught behind you.
Chicken on a stick, or anything on a stick for that matter, is good. Chicken sans stick, strangely, not so good.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
What is the world coming to..
My car was broken into, yet again.
I am tired of this city. I'm tired of this country.
Middle east unrest.
A president and congress that agrees on incredible deficit spending.
Indiana lists a fucking Amish popcorn store as a possible terrorist bombing site, yet Times Square is not listed.
I can't walk down the street without a poor person asking for change.
Not giving change, witness the pleading fucker cuss you out.
China, need I say more?
This world needs to just reset.
I am tired of this city. I'm tired of this country.
Middle east unrest.
A president and congress that agrees on incredible deficit spending.
Indiana lists a fucking Amish popcorn store as a possible terrorist bombing site, yet Times Square is not listed.
I can't walk down the street without a poor person asking for change.
Not giving change, witness the pleading fucker cuss you out.
China, need I say more?
This world needs to just reset.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Eavesdropping at Restaurants
************************************************
(Girl, mid-teens, talking to her mother at a New York style deli)
Mother: Well, what do you want here?
Girl: I don't EVEN know.
Mother: They're famous for their corned beef here.
Girl: Ewwww.
Mother: Well, what DO you want?
Girl: I guess I want something like roast beef with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, but only if they're the sour kind, cause the sweet kind makes me gag. I also want some cheese on it. Whatever. I don't care.
Mother: What kind of cheese?
Girl: I don't know, something regular. I can't care.
Mother: Regular?
Girl: You know, something like at Arby's.
Mother: Cheddar?
Girl: Yeah, or American, cause I don't like the bitter cheese. Whatever.
Mother: You want mayonaise?
Girl: Eww, no way. I HATE mayonaise. Gross. I don't care.
Mother: Alright.
Girl: Ooo, and get me something to drink.
Mother: What?
Girl: Something diet. Like diet Pepsi. Whatever. I don't care.
Mother: Alright.
Girl: Oh, and Mom, can I get some fries?
************************************************
(Timothy Dean Bistro, in downtown Baltimore, two mothers talking at a four top, their husbands busy discussing golf.)
Mom1: So, isn't David going to college this fall?
Mom2: Yeah, he's going, we finished most of his paperwork to live at a tower.
Mom1: He's living off-campus?
Mom2: No, there's some rule about freshmen. At least I know he's going to be in one of the more exclusive on-campus buildings.
(later in the conversation)
Mom2: He's there now, with his girlfriend.
Mom1: Wow, all the way out there.
Mom2: God only knows. I mean, I'm paying for him to be out there, but I didn't pay for him to have THOSE problems.
(even later)
Mom2: This place has great food, but its similar to that place we ate at in Disneyworld.
************************************************
(Girl, mid-teens, talking to her mother at a New York style deli)
Mother: Well, what do you want here?
Girl: I don't EVEN know.
Mother: They're famous for their corned beef here.
Girl: Ewwww.
Mother: Well, what DO you want?
Girl: I guess I want something like roast beef with lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, but only if they're the sour kind, cause the sweet kind makes me gag. I also want some cheese on it. Whatever. I don't care.
Mother: What kind of cheese?
Girl: I don't know, something regular. I can't care.
Mother: Regular?
Girl: You know, something like at Arby's.
Mother: Cheddar?
Girl: Yeah, or American, cause I don't like the bitter cheese. Whatever.
Mother: You want mayonaise?
Girl: Eww, no way. I HATE mayonaise. Gross. I don't care.
Mother: Alright.
Girl: Ooo, and get me something to drink.
Mother: What?
Girl: Something diet. Like diet Pepsi. Whatever. I don't care.
Mother: Alright.
Girl: Oh, and Mom, can I get some fries?
************************************************
(Timothy Dean Bistro, in downtown Baltimore, two mothers talking at a four top, their husbands busy discussing golf.)
Mom1: So, isn't David going to college this fall?
Mom2: Yeah, he's going, we finished most of his paperwork to live at a tower.
Mom1: He's living off-campus?
Mom2: No, there's some rule about freshmen. At least I know he's going to be in one of the more exclusive on-campus buildings.
(later in the conversation)
Mom2: He's there now, with his girlfriend.
Mom1: Wow, all the way out there.
Mom2: God only knows. I mean, I'm paying for him to be out there, but I didn't pay for him to have THOSE problems.
(even later)
Mom2: This place has great food, but its similar to that place we ate at in Disneyworld.
************************************************
Saturday, July 15, 2006
Speak Up, I'm Hard of Hearing
Yes, yes, I has...been too long since...what's that? I live over there, across the street, in my own place, down in the back of that house, so there, up the street, in that brownstone with the awning, yeah, that's the landlord, with the dogs. I know cause I go see her every month with the rent. Its nice, especially in the summer, cause I get this breeze through the window, coming up from the canal, but the thing is, it warps all my papers and pictures. But then again, the good lord doesn't give nothing for free.
How's everyone? The kin, I mean, your kin. Kins the most important thing in this world. I came down here cause my son told me, dragged me down here. In fact, I just came outside here because I'm waiting for my nephew. See, he works for the hospital, and I never know what he's gonna be driving in. See, his daddy gave him a new car, one them SUV's, and he also has a motorcycle. God, he loves that motorcycle. Takes it everywhere, and gets them pretty girls to get on the back. I remember, back when I was a younger man, I used to go on down to Coney Island.
Sure, I used to live in New York. Nah, not in Queens or nothing, I lived in Manhattan. Sure. Up on 71st. Yeah, used to own houses with my wife. We had us a couple buildings in Brooklyn, and we owned our own place in Manhattan. Did well for ourselves. Left it all to my son, Terrance. Then Terrance goes and sells it all and moves me down to Baltimore. I hate it here, Lord have mercy, I hate this city. I hate the way the people here walk hardly anywhere. You know, in New York, we have the greatest public transportation system, its a system you know, and a man could go a lifetime without having to set one foot in a taxicab or a car. Buses and subways, and where those weren't, I had my own two legs to carry me there. People here, in this town, they're lazy. Waving their hands, wanting a ride, shameless. If we had a decent subway system, this place'ed be livable.
I wonder where that boy is, my nephew, you know. I got to be standing here waiting for me, since I broke my cell phone. It doesn't work anymore, and I'm waiting for Terrance, my son, to bring me a new one. Can't just wait inside, since my nephew doesn't remember what number my apartment is. But like I was say, its been too long since I had anyone to talk to, really talk to. I love the English language, our beautiful language, and speaking with friendly faces nowadays doesn't seem to happen very easily. I remember, when I was a younger man, we'd talk to one another, rather than just slip by with cold eyes. That's why I come up to you, sitting on your stoop, to have a chat. See, these kids here, they're rude. They speak such profanities, and they'll just as soon provoke you as say "have a nice day." That's the world now, no time for a conversation. Rather, just fighting words and respect. What good is respect when no one talking to you?
As I was saying though, I want to invite you over to eat at my house. It ain't much, but I love entertaining. Cooking is my life. I love making anything, especially seafood. That's my forte. Ain't had much use for my cooking though, except around Christmas and those holidays, when relatives have me over for my cooking. I like my food like I like my women, salty. These here people, our neighbors, they don't seem to have the time to just sit and talk anymore. You here, smoking on your stoop, I saw you and I thought to myself, I'll introduce myself and we'll sit and talk, like neighbors, cause he looks like a nice enough fellow.
Yes, I guess I should go back across the street anyway, since the nephew is liable to come by any moment, puttering on his bike. I mean it, now, you'll come over, I'd invite you now, but that seems too much, especially with the nephew coming, but I'll cook up some food and get to be hospitable. They say a man shouldn't go to long without company, cause entertaining takes the edges off a man. So, I'm serious now, come on over sometime, just knock on the door.
Good talking to you too, hope to see you soon.
How's everyone? The kin, I mean, your kin. Kins the most important thing in this world. I came down here cause my son told me, dragged me down here. In fact, I just came outside here because I'm waiting for my nephew. See, he works for the hospital, and I never know what he's gonna be driving in. See, his daddy gave him a new car, one them SUV's, and he also has a motorcycle. God, he loves that motorcycle. Takes it everywhere, and gets them pretty girls to get on the back. I remember, back when I was a younger man, I used to go on down to Coney Island.
Sure, I used to live in New York. Nah, not in Queens or nothing, I lived in Manhattan. Sure. Up on 71st. Yeah, used to own houses with my wife. We had us a couple buildings in Brooklyn, and we owned our own place in Manhattan. Did well for ourselves. Left it all to my son, Terrance. Then Terrance goes and sells it all and moves me down to Baltimore. I hate it here, Lord have mercy, I hate this city. I hate the way the people here walk hardly anywhere. You know, in New York, we have the greatest public transportation system, its a system you know, and a man could go a lifetime without having to set one foot in a taxicab or a car. Buses and subways, and where those weren't, I had my own two legs to carry me there. People here, in this town, they're lazy. Waving their hands, wanting a ride, shameless. If we had a decent subway system, this place'ed be livable.
I wonder where that boy is, my nephew, you know. I got to be standing here waiting for me, since I broke my cell phone. It doesn't work anymore, and I'm waiting for Terrance, my son, to bring me a new one. Can't just wait inside, since my nephew doesn't remember what number my apartment is. But like I was say, its been too long since I had anyone to talk to, really talk to. I love the English language, our beautiful language, and speaking with friendly faces nowadays doesn't seem to happen very easily. I remember, when I was a younger man, we'd talk to one another, rather than just slip by with cold eyes. That's why I come up to you, sitting on your stoop, to have a chat. See, these kids here, they're rude. They speak such profanities, and they'll just as soon provoke you as say "have a nice day." That's the world now, no time for a conversation. Rather, just fighting words and respect. What good is respect when no one talking to you?
As I was saying though, I want to invite you over to eat at my house. It ain't much, but I love entertaining. Cooking is my life. I love making anything, especially seafood. That's my forte. Ain't had much use for my cooking though, except around Christmas and those holidays, when relatives have me over for my cooking. I like my food like I like my women, salty. These here people, our neighbors, they don't seem to have the time to just sit and talk anymore. You here, smoking on your stoop, I saw you and I thought to myself, I'll introduce myself and we'll sit and talk, like neighbors, cause he looks like a nice enough fellow.
Yes, I guess I should go back across the street anyway, since the nephew is liable to come by any moment, puttering on his bike. I mean it, now, you'll come over, I'd invite you now, but that seems too much, especially with the nephew coming, but I'll cook up some food and get to be hospitable. They say a man shouldn't go to long without company, cause entertaining takes the edges off a man. So, I'm serious now, come on over sometime, just knock on the door.
Good talking to you too, hope to see you soon.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Twinkle Twinkle
The fireworks are just a coverup of the hand gun eruptions.
Felt the need to type something up, insisting that I'm still alive.
Who here doesn't like ice cream. Sure, it gives me the runs due to my lactose-intolerance, but still, there's nothing better with a slice of still warm apple pie.
As a man, I need to stop saying "meow."
How does anyone find work if every job has some pre-existing conditions (excluding Dairy Queen fry clerk, or Chuck E. Cheese ticket exchange specialist) that are, like, impossible to attain (for me, at least)?
Which do you least prefer: Superman, Spiderman, or Batman? My answer, Superman. He's dull. The story line is so dull (Man of Steel uses inhuman powers for helping) that they have to throw in Kryptonite (which is a stupid conceit, if you ask me). Give me the boy next door routine of Spiderman, or the mystery of Batman over a god-figure rooted in FDR mythology.
The script-writing: Kaput-ski. I'm road blocked, especially after watching "Match Point." Woody already messed up one of my scene writing exercises...now what? I'm not cut out to be a writer...don't have the ideas.
Patience is a virtue, but I don't have the time.
Felt the need to type something up, insisting that I'm still alive.
Who here doesn't like ice cream. Sure, it gives me the runs due to my lactose-intolerance, but still, there's nothing better with a slice of still warm apple pie.
As a man, I need to stop saying "meow."
How does anyone find work if every job has some pre-existing conditions (excluding Dairy Queen fry clerk, or Chuck E. Cheese ticket exchange specialist) that are, like, impossible to attain (for me, at least)?
Which do you least prefer: Superman, Spiderman, or Batman? My answer, Superman. He's dull. The story line is so dull (Man of Steel uses inhuman powers for helping) that they have to throw in Kryptonite (which is a stupid conceit, if you ask me). Give me the boy next door routine of Spiderman, or the mystery of Batman over a god-figure rooted in FDR mythology.
The script-writing: Kaput-ski. I'm road blocked, especially after watching "Match Point." Woody already messed up one of my scene writing exercises...now what? I'm not cut out to be a writer...don't have the ideas.
Patience is a virtue, but I don't have the time.
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