new post

there's alot to report, but i injured my right pinky and typing is difficult. therefore, new post coming in the 07. peace be with you all.

The specialness that is me

Don't you hate Web 2.0? Sure, we give ourselves a pat on the back, winning the Time cover for persons of the year, but really, what are WE really? We are a collective of individuals with our own interests and hobbies and thoughts and persuasions that are really only interesting in diverting, non-important manners. For instance, what's the hottest application that's the pointy end of the mighty 2.0 spear? YouTube...where you'll find incredibly stupid hot people doing webblogs, insanely idiotic people running into walls, and totally outrageous pet behavior. Sure, I enjoy perusing images of humping dog USB drives, but honestly, how is that more incredible than any other time waster that we have invented?

The main target of this rant, though, is for MySpace and all those other social networking sites. Here's a for instance: my friend sent me a link to his MySpace homespace space. I click on the link to see a picture of me buddy, mugging away. Fun. Below, we've got all these interesting factoids about my friend. Did you know that his personal quote involves some inane line from "Office Space?" Did you know that he likes every band that has released an album that got the cover of College Music Journal? Did you know that he's actually read a book?

Hint: for those of you who really want to met other kindred spirits, type in favorites that are on the tail end of the long tail. There's really nothing special about liking Coldplay and Radiohead. Now, if you were to say that you like Ambergris, someone might come along and find another Ambergris fan out in the ether and try to hump you.

Now, on top of finding out interesting facts about my friend (wow, he really liked Pirates of the Carribean, that explains why he named his dog Sparrow), I can read his blog postings (ex. mood=happy! I can't believe she drank the whole thing!!! ROFL! smiley emoticon) and see who he's friends with (wow, 300+ friends, including Nabokov, Colonel Sanders, and the great state of Pennsylvania!). Not really all that much to bitch about...

Holy crap. Below the listing of friends like notches upon the belt is a message board system filled with the most inane ridiculousness this side of not knowing the context. Really, I was dumbfounded by the possible meanings of some posts such as "Dude, where's the bacon," and "Give a cripple crab a crutch." Honestly, this is the cyber variation of writing notes in homeroom. The entire hoopla of the importance of Web 2.0 and the genius of us lies in simply translating the banal conventions of society into handle user interfaces on the computer. "You mean I get to write about all that's important to me, and I get to chat with my buddies...all from one page?!! Then I can link it up to that video I shot with my cell phone camera of that hottie vomiting outside Power Plant Live." Yes, we've basically taken every stupid conversation that can be overheard at a party and displayed it for all the world to see.

So, as much as I enjoy all the applications of Web 2.0, it still isn't something that we should all be proud of...love, a dude writing something on a blog (hello irony).

Best of noculture

I belong to this group of friends who always seem to find interesting things on the web. Not checking the site for a few days, I find that the blog is chock full of neat items. Here's a sampling.

The Hoff is back. David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car."

Nasty. Doll Devotees.

Turkish Airlines sacrifices a camel.

The Japanese have finally done it. A Humping Dog USB device. Finally.

Overheard/Overseen

At a holiday party, a group of three girls:
Girl 1- I cooked this really delicious meal for him.
Girl 2- What did you make?
Girl 1- Get this, so I took a bowl and sprayed butter spray...
Girl 3- Like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Girl 1- Yeah, its just as good.
...
Girl 1- So I took some romaine lettuce, some spices and stuff, and added Swanson chicken, which is this precooked chicken that you can find in the frozen food section.
Girl 2-I've never heard of that.
Girl 1-Yeah, we'll its so much easier to cook than normal chicken.
...
Girl 1- So I combine all this stuff, and stick it in the microwave, and it turns out really good.
Girl 3- That sounds yummy.
Girl 1- Yeah, but he was like this isn't that good, and I'm like, what an asshole!

I'm serious, these gourmand were really discussing the magic of microwave chicken.

Girl 1 also contributed this bon mot: "...so the gym called and was like YOU HAVE TO COME IN and I was like, I've got to go."

What does any of this mean?

...

Last night at poker, Billy Mac decided to make pictograms using poker chips. He made a smiley face, his luck went a bit bad, so he made an unhappy face. However, a stroke of brilliance...he made a phallus shape with red chips...holding white chips, he splashed the pot, a perfect demonstration of human biology. Of course, this inspired me to recreate the female counterpart with pop up parson in the pulpit. Yeah, we've got problems.

Rubes then makes a pair of boobs...but it actually ended up looking like a lonely horizontal three. Of course, since this game is with a bunch of smart guys, the observation on Rubes' picture: "look, its omega."

So...More Quick Hits

• This week in football: lost in the first round of Fantasy playoffs, but then again, real life Ravens won. Their defense looks great, and the offense isn't terrible. Here's to continuing the winning ways.
• The Arcade Fire aren't a very good band. The lead singer, live, sounds like someone squeezing an old Mickey Rooney to 4/4 time.
• Rounders is still a great movie, especially the role played by John Turturro. The exchange in the law library is classic: Jo - Knish, how are you doing? Knish - The same.
• The zero conundrum: seeing as how linear time, according to our gregorian calendar, measures time A.D. and B.C. (or B.C.E., or whatever terminology you decide to use). Is there a year zero? or is there simply a 1BC transitioning into 1AD?
• Of the radiohead inspired late 90's, early aught bands, which was your favorite? Coldplay, Travis, Kent, Muse, Keane, Sigur Ros, etc. I don't know...I held high hope for Travis...can't stand Coldplay after their last album...Sigur Ros is a mood specific band...Muse didn't do anything while Keane attempts to pop it up. I have no comment on the defunct Kent. So the winner? Super Furry Animals? National Skyline? The damned Vines? I have no clue...this is a ridiculous line of logic.
• Someone needs to make a Sugar Hill Gang alarm clock. An episode of Scrubs featured an alarm clock with a ring of Rapper's Delight. I wish it really existed.
• Final thought: Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

How Time Flies...

...when you're having sleeping problems. Howdy, intrepid standard readers. There is much to report and commentate upon:

• NYC: Went up to the big city to help VV and his blushing bride move into their new "flat" (or apartment) on the east side of the big island. Nice neighborhood and all, but I'd say that the place really needs more shelving. Yes, and more Ikea chairs which are deceptively difficult to put together. But, VV, that aero-bed was freakin' awesome. Additionally, ELV and I visited one of her old friends residing in Brooklyn. Good peoples.
• Thoughts about NYC: I have a theory that New York causes people to draw inward into themselves. Perhaps due to the constriction in space due to living in small spaces, walking on packed sidewalks, and standing in jammed subway cars, New Yorkers seem more self-involved (for lack of a better word, since I don't mean to say involved in a negative connotation). How does one keep their sanity in the crush of humanity? Answer - pop in the ear buds, pretend that no one else exists as you talk too loud into your cell phone, bumping into people and mutter death to those who cross your path. Then again, maybe I'm just a country bumpkin who just wants people to be a little nicer in the big apple.
• According to ELV, the cupcakes from that place featured in the "Lazy Sunday" video aren't really that crazy delicious.
• Why do my iPods break down do frequently? My current theory is that my car adaptor unit may be fluctuating, thus frying the hard drive (or at least giving it a solid tweak that makes iPod fritzy).
  
• The Tenacious D concert at the Patriot Center (D.C.) was fantastic. "Wait a minute, Chuck," I hear you saying, "aren't they a joke band? Isn't it a played out joke? How could it be a good show?" Well, dear reader, often times with rock concerts, I find myself a bit bored. There's nothing really to look at unless you like oogling band members, which doesn't happen unless I'm at a Metric show, and most bands just play their songs with little to no banter, speeding through their set with about as much energy as Proust having a madeline. Yeah, excitement isn't hipster, but most hipsters tend to be boring schmucks who need to have their socks rocked off. The Tenacious D show featured most of the songs from the band's two full length releases, which if you are familiar with the songs you know that there's ample scatological and sophomoric humor. The magic of the show lies in other things: the musicianship of Kyle Gass' impressive acoustic solos, the collective skill of the backing band (Colonol Sanders on drums, Charlie Chaplin on bass, and the freaking' Antichrist on lead guitar who can shred), the set design featuring a replica of Gass' "duplex" and a stage setup of a hell bound rock band, complete with triple bass drum set on risers WITH a gong. The comedy between songs ranges from scripted banality to improvised genius, and Black fluctuates between outrageous over the top nonsense and complete heartfelt rock stardom. That's the beauty of the D; they are mocking their true love of metal. Its a mash note to Dio, Queen, the Who, and the Zep. In fact, the covers of Zep and Who, especially the incredible "Pinball Wizard" cover ending the show, demonstrated the hilarious seriousness that the D pours into their show. That love shines through, making the show both inspiring and entertaining. Best show of 2006.
• Poker home game note: spent a night fluctuating up and down, coming out a couple dollars short of even. Yeah, no big win, no big loss, just even. Here's a suggestion: if you've got a home game, don't be hard asses and institute casino rules. If the table is collecting a rake and you're serving unlimited drinks in scantily clad waitresses, then proceed with the rules about burn cards, money on table, and table talking. Otherwise, remember, its supposed to be a gathering of friends playing a damn game.
• This just in from the CBS morning show: "Sexual health is a part of general health." Thanks, Julie Chen.
• Music: apparently the Tom Waits album "Orphans" is quite good. I'll get a chance to listen to it soon and you'll read a report. Got the "Stranger than Fiction" soundtrack, and the album is pretty darn good. The Spoon contributions are excellent, and I'm glad I caught up with such an important footnote in one-hit wonders, Wreckless Eric's "Whole Wide World." DOWNLOAD THIS: Spoon "Book I Write"
• Got interested in science/technology postings on YouTube...here's the best of the lot I've found:
• Ever teacher/prof has had this fantasy. God, this is awesome!
• Some lucky SOB's seen this in real life (Vini sits back with a smug grin), but its beautiful.
• Speaking of Vini, old man DeBay would be interested in a 22 caliber disguised as a cell phone, right? Perfect for shooting rabid cats...
  
• This software is interesting, but the professor needs to jazz up his presentation skills. Maybe draw us Rube Goldberg contraption with your magic computer screen and then we'll freak out.
• Dopey Spanish television demonstration of a non-Newtonian fluid.
• The floating computer display screen is silly, since its basically a really expensive fog machine with a projector. However, when it is a interactive, touch screen fog machine, I'm more liable to wet myself.
• The damned Japanese get this kind of elevator display, and all we get in the states are pasty white boys wearing genius t-shirts.
  
• Those folks at Carneige Mellon have come up with software to convert 2D photos into three dimensional projections.
  
• Finally, there's a guy named Lasse Gjertsen who has done some interesting video editing projects. Here's my favorite two: Amateur and Hyperactive.

OK, that's enough of this.