Another Best-Of-Craigslist...but With A Cat I Might Know!

This cat sounds...just...like...Vauxy.

Click on the link below to go to the posting...there are three pics I did not include.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/280312344.html

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free: the worst cat

Originally Posted: Sat, 17 Feb 16:12 EST
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free: the worst cat
Date: 2007-02-17, 4:12PM EST

Do you like a challenge? Then take our cat. Please.

I first heard about our cat about 6 months ago, when I had not yet moved to Philadelphia post-graduation as per my long-standing plans with my best friend from high school.

My first impression of the cat was my best friend calling me on my cell phone and asking me how you could tell if a kitten was rabid. My friend had been walking through Clark Park late at night with a friend of hers when a thugged-out man who they took to be a mugger emerged from the bushes. He walked toward them, thrust out his hand and just as they were starting to freak out said with a kind of embarrassed air, "Can you do something with this? I found it sitting in the street and I didn't want to see it get run over but I can't take it with me."

The guy had a tiny little two-week-old kitten in one hand, and my housemate took it home and fed it with a bottle and all that good samaritan stuff.

She called me up a week later asking if I thought it was rabid because, in her words, "It chews on my fingers and falls over sometimes." I told her that in my experience that's how kittens basically spend most of their waking hours and thought she was overreacting.

Well, the kitten wasn't rabid, but neither is he normal. Because he was separated from his mother so early, he's emotionally stunted and doesn't like getting petted and will tolerate it for a bit but then start biting and scratching.

The only times I ever hear him purr are when he pretend-nurses on something soft; there's a scarf of mine he particularly enjoys making out with. Because my housemate didn't knock him around like a mother cat would have when she was nursing him in August he never really learned how to play nice, so when I got there in September, he was this tiny little bouncing ball of teeth and claws and aggression who would only react to attempted discipline with the cat equivalent of "Oh yeah? Oh YEAH?? FUCK YOUUUUUUUU!!"

He is just not cowable, as ridiculously outsized as he was and still is. Now he is larger (about 8 pounds, I'd say) and less aggressively hyper but still kind of destructive when he gets bored.

The cat also had a really horrible case of fleas for a while, which took us hundreds of dollars and a lot of sleepless, stare-at-the-ceiling-while-intermittently-slapping-your-arm-in-a-panic nights. He no longer has the fleas, through great effort on our part.

I was not present the first time we took the cat to the vet, but my housemate warned him about the cat's temperament. The vet laughed it off, said he'd seen everything. When we picked the cat up, the same vet brought out the cat all sedated in his kitty carrier, and he looked pretty harried.

"Well," he said, "He's certainly RAMBUNCTIOUS."

Another story: when my friends first came over to meet the kitten, they were so amazed at how "rambunctious" he was that they suggested that he had to be the the result of some sort of bizarre and possibly depraved feral street cat/ocelot sex.

So here's the deal:

My best friend, the one who originally got the cat in the park, just moved out a couple of weeks ago, leaving the cat with my two housemates, who hate the cat with a passion, and me. She can't take him with her where she is now, so we're essentially stuck with this cat. However...

We can't live with this cat anymore. My housemates hate him and always have, and are in fact in favor of just dropping him off at a farm somewhere and letting him live off the land. I have scratches all up and down my forearms all the time from his "playing" and people look at me funny. He appears to give off an extremely potent dander which particularly seems to affect men. I just went to the doctor and she says that I do not in fact have a persistent cold, and that I, along with every man my housemates and I have brought to the house in the past six months, am allergic to the cat. I have never been allergic to a cat in my life, which makes this particularly weird.

So if you like a challenge, or healing troubled cat psyches, then take my cat. In the spirit of full disclosure: Things which may be off-putting about the cat:

• He plays rough to the point that my hands and forearms are constantly covered with scratches


• He doesn't really appreciate being petted other than occasionally being scratched under the chin when he's sleepy


• He never really learned how to do the mutton-leg form of licking his own butt/genitalia (one leg straight up in the air), and so devised his own method, which is: sit back on his ass like a fat man, spread his legs and wash his junk directly AT you


• When he wants attention or is bored, he will stare deliberately at you while knocking over things like glasses of water and ashtrays


• If you have small pets suchas rodetns or fish, he will probably find a way to kill them.


• He will stare at you intently while you're making out with someone on the couch


• Gives off enough dander to kill a man (and occasionally a woman)

Things in the cat's favor:

• He is fixed, fully vaccinated and healthy


• He never pees or poops outside his box


• If you have any sort of pests, he will ruthlessly kill them


• He seems to get on well with the female cat that lives upstairs when they occasionally meet in the foyer


• He is absolutely fearless, which I find endearing (you can vacuum him and he just sits there and looks at you quizzically)


• He is really, really cute - to demonstrate this, I have attached three pictures in decreasing order of age-of-cat and these two videos.

I realize that this description of the cat might not be the best way to get someone to adopt him. But I just wanted to have a policy of complete and total transparency about this cat, because... I genuinely think that he could learn how to be a good cat in a house where he's not left alone quite as much as he is in an apartment with two college students who are only home two or three days a week and one 23-year-old with two jobs that keep me out of the house most of the time and exhausted the rest of the time.

I won't take him to a shelter, because he wouldn't ever be adopted with his behavior problems and I know they'd probably just end up putting him down.

So take our cat... please. He comes with litterbox, litter, food bowls, food, a kitty carrier and our eternal gratitude.

Location: fairmount
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 280312344
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From the Best of Craigslist

You Dropped Your Bible and I Saw Your Thong - m4w
Date: 2007-05-16, 1:43AM MDT

I was walking down the sidewalk and you, a very good looking woman from the backside, dropped what appeared to be the Holy Bible, bent to pick it up, and through no fault of my own, I saw your thong...and wow.

I know Jesus spent some time with Mary Magdalene, and likely she wore next to nothing under those sackcloths, but I have to admit, your short skirt and fluorescent pink thong were way sexier, and made me want to get to "know" you, in the Biblical sense, of course.

I'm not Christian, but if we can stick to the basic 10 Commandments and leave the Pope out of it, I think we'll be ok. Oh, by the way, I was the very tall, tan, curly-haired, non-Christian gentleman walking behind you.

Location: Church
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interestsPostingID: 331893376

New Post

Yippie-Ki-Yay-Ki-Yo...

Saw "Live Free and Die Hard." Strange how a movie, though streamlined for our modern sensibilities, with the asthetics of the big eighties felt so, well, spry...the movie actually felt fresh, like a fine cerviche with a twist of massive explosions. Go see it with the least of expectations and you'll leave with a renewed appreciation for the excesses of action film making.

Speaking of action films, I never wrote about the most incredibly awesome, brilliant, hilarious, etc etc etc...the movie "Hot Fuzz." Cannot wait for the release...hopefully on Criterion with a second bonus disk with a three documentaries including a thoughtful analysis by Sir David Entwistlyn on the effects of Coronets on marksmanship.

Work is work is work. Funny being a focal point of a tug-of-war, like its the Nathan's Fourth of July Chuck Recruiting contest. Two great groups, one lazy Asian with a master's, who will win?!!

The champ has a busted jaw, so Kobayashi won't be eating for the hot dog title. Sad. Just when we (U.S.A.!) have a decent shot at regaining the trophy (is it a trophy?) in young Joey Chestnut, the champ decides to pull a Michelle Wie and pulls out of the contest.

The draft...no surprises, even the trade by the Celtics, getting an old Ray Allen...bad trades and the Celtics, you don't need my word, just go read any Sports Guy column at ESPN.

Yawn, I need some caffiene...and a fast car, fast enough that I can drive away.

You know, it's so peaceful in the Middle East...

Seriously, denizens of the Middle East and/or followers of the prophet Mohammad, don't you have enough to deal with than to get all riled up about "The Satanic Verses"?

The knighting of Salmon Rushdie is, like, such a big deal that several Iman dudes are totally calling for his death. Whoa.

The reason I use the dumb surfer guy voice (at least in my head) is because this is just plain stupid, like having a surf shop in Omaha.

Rushdie is a great writer. His works are studied and provoke thought. He is an important 20th century writer. Yet, because some bushy bearded radicals don't like Rushdie's words, all these people get huffy and demand some sort of "be sensitive to our Muslim ways, please, or we'll blow you up" demonstration.

This is for a British knighthood. They give knighthoods to pop stars and soccer managers. Really, how much significance is that?!! It would be like the National Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Alliance protesting a Grammy for Adam Levine. Know you, cause the Maroon 5 singer said that he wishes he were gay for the fashion and culture.

I get how the Western world have done some messed up things against Muslims. There are tremendous sins that the West needs to address to acheive some level of understanding. But there has also got to be a semblence of sanity. You can't go being overly sensitive and expect any sort of dialogue.

A Taliban spokesman said: "We ... consider this another major affront to Islam by the infidels."

Taliban needs to get a life. Dude, come out of your caves, let your women wear more sexy burkahs, and freakin' have a party or something.

Rushdie is an author, past his prime, who should be able to enjoy his awards and honors without causing a temper tantrum from some overly sensitive wackos.

News Link: Al Jazeera - Protests flare over Rushdie honour

On Water

Blasting out some more scribble:

• We're watching "Lost." Yep, after all this time fighting the hype, ELV and I are working through the ABC show about pretty survivors and their illogical plot points. Season one was pretty darn good, especially the second part of the finale which had me yelping and jumping like a shocked salmon slapping against the surface of the dusty country pond (who gave me this "analogies like Dan Rather" primer?)...salmon in a pond? The second season is starting to anger me and we're only on episode 4. Point of order: if I ever win the lottery, and you decide to hate me for my unbelievable luck, I will not be crushed.
• Accidentally watched a bit of Sean Hate-ity on FoxNews while channel flopping. He was talking about global warming and how the snows of Kilaminjaro aren't melting because of human influence. Here's the question, neo-cons, why are you spending so much effort trying to dissuade Americans from conservation?!! Isn't it a worthy goal to decrease carbon emissions if the by-products are decreased emissions of other nasty gases from fossil fuel use? Isn't it a good idea if we decreased our dependence on products from the hardly-stable middle eastern portion of our troubled world? Why are you fighting against something that's could result in a win-win outcome...because of the monies from oil interests and auto manufactures? Come on, a little foresight, there will be plenty of kickbacks from the solar cell manufactures and ethanol developers once they become the predominant players. You'll get your money, greedy little piggies.
• Bruscetta is so easy to make. You should make it. Get some good bread and go crazy.

Foodie Fun in the Baltimore Sun

There’s a reason why I’ve gained twenty pounds since I’ve moved to Baltimore, and yes, it has a lot to do with my lack of any meaningful exercise other than the over-caffeinated leg tremors whilst seated that constitutes a fitness plan. I’m not going to bore you with the details of atrophied muscles, once ripply, now rollie (a.k.a. pollie), hidden under a layer of lipids lovingly hugging my body. Instead, I’d like to point the finger at an unknown fact about Baltimore: pretty good food.

Now, ole B-more isn’t a foodie’s Mecca, unless said foodie is a connoisseur of crabs, Natty Boh, or Berger cookies. That said there are many fine flavors to be experienced if you live in the city and don’t feel like trekking along I-95 to New York City, Philadelphia, or Washington D.C.. For fine dining, there is haute cuisine at the Brass Elephant on Charles St., where fine dining is paired with over-priced wine selections. You are sure to impress a date, especially if they’re used to your usual tasty restaurant excursions, BOP (Brick Oven Pizza) in Fell’s Point or Tamber’s near Johns Hopkins Homewood campus. If its Indian food you crave, why not head to Akbar’s in Mount Vernon or Mehek in Fell’s Point. Want some Afghan food? Go to the authentic-as-you-can-get the Helmand. Need some Korean? Get ye to the green awning-ed Nam Kang.

The list goes on. Every type of food, you can find a great representative in Baltimore…except for two staples that I miss. The quality of fried chicken in Baltimore is a sin. Awful breading, flavorless meat, dunked in grease nastiness abounds at most of the bulletproof glass establishments. Learn something from the Carolinas and franchise a Bojangles or something.

Second of all, where’s the awesome burrito joint? I mean, Chipotle will get you through the day, but there’s got to be a better Mexican restaurant in Baltimore. Sure, surrounding areas have good Latino joints, especially the under-rated place that’s near the Security Blvd. Mall near I-70, but we need an option that’s not one of the trendy Baja Fresh rip-offs. An aside: ELV and I walked into a Qdoba’s or Qbado’s…something with a Q, and were immediately assaulted with Avril blaring through the speakers. That should never happen. You should have some form of Latin music if you enter a fajita-eatery. You can blame Taco Bell for introducing pop music to your taco eating experience, but it has to stop. There are few things more annoying that eating an “ethnic” food while listening to American music. It’s just jarring. Much like being in Seoul, having a slice of surprisingly good pizza, and listening to Korean pop. It is plain wrong, people. Keep your cultures consistent. I don’t want to eat sushi while listening to C + C Music Factory, ok?

I digress: suppose you don’t want to eat out. Well, if you want to eat quality, there are plenty of fine groceries and food suppliers to check out…but the list is too long to delve into now, and so I leave you with a how-to for the best Caprese Sandwich…ever.

• Fresh Mozzarella: get it from the Ceriello’s at Belvedere Square Market. They make it fresh several times a day and it’s packed in brine. Don’t buy fresh mozzarella anywhere else because it isn’t fresh.
• Basil: Farmer’s Market (either Waverly or the I-83 underpass), but then again, I really like the Wegman’s packed basil…much fresher than Superfresh and the like.
• Tomatoes: So ELV got some incredible tomatoes at the farmer’s market one weekend, but since then (about three weeks ago), they haven’t been so nice (still green, smaller, less flavorful). I’ll just say that you should get juicy, ripe tomatoes, preferably non-roma.
• Olive Oil: Always unfiltered, for the flavor…I’m using a bottle purchased at Agata & Valentina in New York City, but I’m sure you can find some at any gourmet market.
• Salt and Pepper: Sea salt, ground…and fresh ground black pepper. Don’t use the Mortons, please.
• Bread: We use ciabatta, but any crusty bread will do. Slice it up, douse with olive oil, and stick it in the oven to heat/crisp. The best bread comes from the farmer’s market cart from some baker. Awesome stuff.

Yeah…I eat two of these suckers on the weekend. See why I gain weight like a force-fed goose?

Ciao.

Why?

Found on Craigslist Baltimore...why does this person have a 50 gallon drum of hydrochloric acid?

Muriatic Acid
Reply to: sale-352862644@craigslist.orgDate: 2007-06-15, 2:21PM EDT

Free 50 gallon drum of Muriatic Acid You haul
410-757-0888

Location: Arnold, MD

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 352862644

ahem

Here's a quick one:

working...

anyone recommend a good photoshop book?

who'd a thought that writing for a living would be such hard, hard, arduous, brain numbing work?

Spurs are good.

O's suck.

Watch "Paris, Je T'aime." Great...the best bits are the last segment, the nanny one, the coen bro's one, the one with the grieving mum, and divorcees.

why does it take so long to burn a DVD?

Currently watching LOST season one with ELV. I think we're officially hooked.

ciao