Listening Post: Smashing Pumpkins "Zeitgeist" - now with more editting!

The latest "Smashing Pumpkins" release, Zeitgeist, is in my hot little hands (thanks to Vini) and ready for a song-by-song listening blog review! You know, scratch the exclamation point at the end of the introductory sentence, because I’m about as excited as this guy playing cricket.

Before we get to far into this, I have to profess that I was an uber-fan of the Pumpkins during the nineties. The album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness profoundly influenced my palate for rock music, particularly feeding my desire to listen to quirky, one-off pieces of pop tomfoolery without sacrificing the crunch of thrash.

The work of Billy Corgan seemed to intimate that you can be an artistic genius while still enjoying finely crafted pop tunes and beautiful classical compositions. Mix in the fiery jangle of "Gish" and the anthemic rise of "Siamese Dream" (plus the discovery of James Iha's sensitive guy songs like "Blew Away" or "The Boy") you've got a tasty piece of extra tasty, crispy Alternative Rock.

But something happened in the latter days: band went all ga-ga over industrial, leading to some experiments that really weren't all that interesting...you can a defense for left-field experimentation such as Radiohead's Kid A as long as it remains aurally intriguing. Machina got two spins in my CD player before being relegated to the undisturbed graveyard/CD Binder filled with sampler CDs from my time at Borders.

Then, the final days: Corgan versus Iha and D'Arcy, who can kill the band. To Corgan's credit, maybe D'Arcy was a heroin addict, and I'm sure it wasn't a very rock star moment when Iha, with tears in his eyes, suggested that they cover "When You Wish Upon a Star." To counter, Billy Corgan being all Jason Lee in "Almost Famous" or better yet, Lee Mavers of the La's, probably contributed to the fractured relationship with Iha...that and using Corgan's blog to slag at Iha and D'Arcy.

So the band splits up, leading Corgan on the Zwan/Cheap Trick/"The indulgent rock star's I'm enjoying my riches and just mailing in project ideas because I don't need the adoration of my fans though I expect it" phase of his career. Not that the world cared...there were plenty of other bands to get into during that time that no one really missed the Pumpkins. End of story, right?

Nope, either there isn't much fulfilment for Corgan in playing acoustic versions of "Honestly" or "DIA" at the Metro or maybe he's run out of money, so here come Zeitgeist, which features Corgan, Jimmy Chamberlain (like he could pass up on an offer from Corgan), and, for the tour...some people! It's like Corgan went UHF and thinks that the Pumpkins don't need no stinkin' Iha and D'Arcy.

So, they release "Zeitgeist." I'm hoping that the album isn't awful. However, two spectres that haunt the possibilities of enjoying this album: 1>the political album cover: the Pumpkins have never been super political...this is a radical departure. 2> The kick in the balls: they released multiple versions of the album, each containing a different bonus track...meaning you have to buy multiple albums to get all the bonus tracks. Hell, even the song with the album title isn't on the standard album track listing. Thank goodness for piracy!

As you can see, I have a serious bias against this album...so let's see what fun happens as we listen.

Track 1: Doomsday Clock
Before I press play, just a note: this song is on the "Transformers" soundtrack: a movie that I have promised not to see in the theater. For what its worth, I now hate Corgan just a little bit more.

Five seconds of Chamberlain drumming, then the fuzz begins. I'm trying to think about something snarky to say about the song, but there's really nothing here to point out. It sounds like vintage Pumpkins, listenable. Sure, Corgan's voice sounds a bit weaker, the guitar work is a droning boring thing, but there's alot of the same Pumpkins working ideas, like propulsive drumming, the multiple Corgan voices singing choruses at you (a swarm of nasal bees), and, of course, the electronica influence. The break at ~2:40 was cheesy.

You know, I've got the same squirming feeling that I had when I was listening to Adore for the first time...I'm not going to like the rest of this. Although with Adore, there were a few nice tracks, so maybe I'll get a few tunes for a playlist entitled "I must be getting older because all the bands of my youth are attempting comebacks." Come on, we've got to get a Blind Melon/Alice In Chains/Toad the Wet Sprocket supergroup!

Track 2: 7 Shades of Black
There's this "squibbly flabbidy doo" guitar line through this song that sounds like a magic 80's power riff which, as described by Patton Oswalt, has the power to change the physical properties of things...with the power of their rock. To quote master Oswalt (in Road Warrior getup), "that grilled cheese sandwich isn't melted, squibbiddy flabbity doo! -ahh, man, the sandwich is all gooey and melty! You are like a median genius!"

At ~2:18, dual electric guitar solo, be still my heart. This song sucks...there are so many reason to dislike this song, but I think the best way to get across how bad this song is...click this youtube clip.

Track 3: Bleeding the Orchid
I should hate this song from the start: "ahhs" from unaccompanied Corgan voices: imagine a chorus of angels greeting you to the everlasting fields of rest sounding like Corgan - nasal angels with attitude! Quick, someone pitch this idea to the Trinity Broadcasting Network; with a few pounds of makeup and bad wigs, you've got yourself a full hour of Jesus power! Rock and roll angels...kinda like Stryper ("Always There For You)!

Sorry, I haven't been paying attention to the song. It sounds kind of pretty. This song actually has a bit of artistry compared to the blunt force trauma of the first two tracks. This song could be in a documentary about the underground Seattle coffee scene at Pikes Place Market during the 90's, filmed in black and white with slightly off-focus shots of unwashed guys in flannel, or a documentary about Stryper.

Track 4: That's the Way (My Love Is)
I've always hated parenthetical titles (for sure). Sure, some titles need it, driving home the idea of "What's So Funny About (Peace, Love and Understanding)?". However, too many bands use it for no other reason than pretentiousness: hell, the band on the top of the pretentious hill, Sigur Ros, released an album signified only with a parenthesis (). Just write the name of the song and get on with it.

This song has a shimmery, wintery quality of guitar work, a poppy chorus that bring to mind a Garbage-esque phrasing, and...what the hell?!! At about ~2:02, the song goes all schmaltzy! Hold on, I have to rewind this: Corgan's voice is all soft "I'm talking to lady friend" and there's this little high feedback Casio buzzing in the background. That was one of those unfortunate breaks that destroys the feel of a song...much like all of Rivers Cuomo's solos in the "Green" album, where the whole emotional thread is destroyed by the lazy, non-work turned in by talented musicians. Corgan, you need Iha back for the lead guitar work that makes the sum better than the parts. Much like using egg in a dish as a binding agent, Iha needs to thread through and make this disjointed songs sound whole.

Track 5: Tarantula
I'm yawning. 4pm in the afternoon and I'm yawning. This is the lead single. Compare it to the great singles of Pumpkins history. Is this as good as "Today,"or "1979?"

ELV just walked in and said that the song was "good so far." Obviously I'm being too harsh. Its peppy. We'll leave it at that (Is All I Say).

Track 6: Starz
"We are starz, we are..." Shoot me in the head. Maybe I've grown out of liking the Pumpkins.

Nope, just paused Starz and listened to "Cherub Rock." I like Cherub Rock, I know Cherub Rock, and you sir, Starz, are no Cherub Rock.

Just passed the two minute mark...still almost 2 more minutes to go.

How about that Joey Chestnut?

How was your 7/7/07? ELV and I went to Bladensburg, MD, to visit the Kwik-E Mart. A post to come, for sure. Only 10 seconds left! Its over with free echoing...my sentiments exactly.

Track 7: United States
Is this going to be a political statement? Because, after Live Earth, I just can't wait for another political statement from a Rock Star! Because, the logic goes, rock stars are famous and they should be listened to about curtailing consumption. I kind of begrudgingly respect the Arctic Monkey, not for any inherent musical talent, but for saying that it is hypocritical for rock bands to tell people how to live. If citizens of the world don't want to listen to scientists about the actual research findings, then screw 'em!

This song is 9 minutes?!! Sigh...we've hit the chorus, I think, at 2:30, which is basically the word "revolution." Funny, but this song makes me think of the Pearl Jam song W.M.A.; possibly because of the tom-tom drums.

I wonder what the best songs are that include Revolution in the song lyrics. Sure, Revolution by the Beatles, something by Rage Against the Machine (a safe bet, right?), and I'm spent..."what will we do." Why end the chant of "revolution" by saying "what will we do?" I don't understand the point, but then again this is my gut reaction, and my ample gut is telling me to dislike anything about this album.

Extended solo, like something I imagine from a bad Blue Oyster Cult concert. Scratch that, how about a really disinterested, bad trip Jimi Hendrix. It picks up at the seven minute mark with, I crap you not, a high pitched "Ow."

I'm laughing at the "Ow," with the reverb. Ow, ow ow... sounds like a female child, aged 5, yelling into a reverb heavy microphone, rocking out about "how sadness sucks."

Please don't tell me its going to be a minute and a half of this da-da-da-da (pause) guitar drum crap. Skip this song! If you feel the need to listen to Zeitgeist, I promise you, this song is about as worthwhile as watching the bonus features on any television series DVD set. This song will be played at the concert right about the time I go to the bathroom.

Track 8: Neverlost
I like the intro...finally some different sounds. The xylophone-sound is quite refreshing, especially after the quite-unlistenable United States. Corgan actually sounds invested in this song...his voice filled with inflection and emotion. I like this song.

How often have you come across a song, surrounded by crappy tracks, that actually is a stand-alone decent track? I think of Iron and Wine's In the Reins...the second to last song was great, everything else was crap.

I LIKE THIS SONG! YEEHAW!

Track 9: Bring the Light
This song instantly reminds me of "What a Light" on Wilco's latest album "Sky Blue Sky." I don't like the new Wilco album. I don't like this song. Enough said...

Yesterday, I needed to find fried chicken. I went a fried chicken joint (Cluck U) in Towson, where I was informed that, at 7pm, they did not have any fried chicken. How can you be a fried chicken joint without any fried chicken? That would be like Payless saying that they ran out of shoes.

I wonder if Billy Corgan has a sense of humor...I imagine that he's about as fun as needle exchange program (Get the Point!).

Track 10: (Come On) Let's Go!
You thought I was overplaying the parenthetical joke, right? Come on, rock song writers, you don't need to use parenthesis to make a statement. This song could be called "Come On, Let's Go!" or "Come On," or even "Repetitious," considering that there's a whole bunch of blahs punctuated with a chorus of come on, let's go. Yeah! Rock! Seriously, this song reminds me of a Smashing Pumpkins tribute band (let's call them the Shattered Gourds) who feel like they're grown past the Pumpkins oeuvre and branching out to write their own Pumpkins songs (like fan fiction, except with music). This is what they would write. No one would ever release it.

Track 11: For God and Country
I feel the end approaching! "For God and Country, I Would Fight, For God and Country, I Would Die." Really?

Here's a question: what did Corgan and Cobain see in Courtney Love? Is it a love based on convenience? "You know, she's got the drugs, and what the hey, she's a female...I guess I'll just, well, do it with her!"

This song is boring. I really want to write descriptives to these generic pronouncements about the songs, but really, I've got this brain-deadness about me as I listen to this.

Track 12: Pomp and Circumstances
HAHAHA, this sounds like a crappy "Avalon." Maybe this could be the B-side to "We Only Come Out At Night."

You know, just now, I started humming Enya to this song. It fits. Sing with me, "Who can say where the wind blows..."

La la la la la la la ... I am now imagining nasal mermaids with shiny chrome domes swimming in a shimmery pool in a grotto while a sasquatch stands on the edge, surrounded by a jungle canopy, backlit.

What a crap song! It should be on the soundtrack of the "Neverending Story 4: Atrayu's Gay Cruise." Wow, this is an 80's song, Billy, a very very bad 80's song. Shame on you.


That's it...no bonus tracks. Overall, a craptacular album. What a mess. I'm going to go eat some Ratatouille.