Thinking about Film

Just a quick note, black and white film is NOT a separate film genre. It was a technological necessity pre-color film, and now is a stylistic choice. It is NOT a separate category. I repeat, don't sound like a schmuck, black and white comedy is still part of the comedy genre.

Quick Hits, Back Pain Style with a Twist of 1991

My back locked up again...giving me a chance to lay on the yoga mat (first use in about two months). Using Salonpas heat patch, instead of the Bengay/Icy Hot patch, and that gives me the chance to compare the two. One main difference, IcyHot/Bengay is cold/hot/burnish, while the Salonpas provides a constant heat without the menthol iciness. Not bad, especially for back pain.

Caught two great guy movie/tear jerkers: A Time To Kill and Backdraft. The Grisham adaptation features a noble white guy (Matthew McConaughey in a non-chick flick role) defending a vengeful father (always awesomely indignant Samuel L. Jackson). If you don't get choked up with McConaughey closing argument, then you don't have a soul. I didn't watch this film when it released in 1996, but it features an amazing cast including Kevin Spacey, Donald & Keifer Sutherland, Sandra Bullock, and Charles "ROC" Dutton.

Speaking of Charles S. Dutton, I remember taking a TV/Film Appreciation Class, and having to watch those Roc Live episodes and documenting the different types of camera shots. Remember Roc Live? We can thank (or blame) Fox for introducing the novelty of filming sitcoms live (used as sweeps events on shows like Will and Grace, while giving an excuse for the Drew Carey show's final season). Funny how the selection of this show by my high school teacher kept a minor, three-year TV show fresh in my mind.

The second tear jerker...the incredibly awesome Backdraft. Send your minds back to 1991...a hell of a year for American movies. We had The Silence of the Lambs winning the Best Picture Academy Award (as well as increasing the name awareness of fava beans). Additionally, the following phrases entered our lexicon due to special movies: "Back and to the left" (JFK), "Counselor..." (Cape Fear), "...God my ass is swollen..." (City Slickers), and the ever eternal, non-English accent, Costner-inflectioned "I have a brother" (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves). Amazing how Costner made minor league baseball so damned cool, yet, really, couldn't act out of a paper bag (or a Tin Cup).

Watching Backdraft, I'm amazed that the film hasn't stuck with us...the action, effects, and story line remain engaging. Additionally, with our greater appreciation for fire fighters, this film encapsulates the dangers, history, and fascination inherent in such a dangerous occupation. The movie has some pedigree as well, considering that Opie directed it while the writer was Greg Widen, who also penned the classic Highlander. The film clustered some good acting talent: Kurt Russell (who channels Wyatt Earp in his firefighter), Billy Baldwin (before he fizzled out with Sliver), De Niro (who gets the best monologue, posted below), Donald Sutherland, Jennifer Jason Lee, and Rebecca Demorney. Great cinematography, filming the sultry, deadly, fascinating fire as another character in the story. The tears should come with the death scene of Russell as the funeral procession through the streets of Chicago.

Here's some thoughts about Backdraft:

• DeNiro Doing DeNiro...so entertaining. Its like a good joke: you know the set up, the punchline, yet you hear it and it still kills. That's DeNiro.
  
• The soundtrack to Backdraft supplies most of the music for the original Iron Chef series. This blurb from Filmtracks: Yes this is the music used to the background of the Iron Chef show. Its funny the movie was called Backdraft because the credit on the show is "Music provided by Backdraft" which of course makes you think its just some out-of-business production company with really really good backdraft tracks.
  
• That sex scene on top of the fire truck...awesome.
  

Finally, just to hit back at the 1991 movie season: there were other amazing classics like Barton Fink, The Fisher King, Thelma and Louise, Boyz in the Hood, Terminator 2, Raise the Red Lantern, and Mediterraneo. That's a hell of a year, even leaving out Beauty and the Beast and Prince of Tides.

*****

Also, final thought, we ate at the rotating sushi bar last night. Seated to my right was a gaggle of Towson University co-eds all speaking that ever-present young spoiled MTV girl voice. While talking about her class, one of them stated that her class "was SO awful...it literally sucked."

I literally punched myself in the face because her stupidity literally took possession over me.

Guilty Laugh

This morning, eating some breakfast toast with ELV, had a laugh on an inappropriate thought. Discussing a news item involving premature infants, my brain started the random association process that usually results in tangential humor and hysterical giggling on my part.

So here's the comment: "When there is an extreme premature birth, is that baby called an extremy?"

Just checking...that's funny, right?

***

Watch "Pennies From Heaven" if you ever want to feel depressed, or if you want to watch some excellent Christopher Walken tap dancing/strip tease.

Nonbinding Rockage

This is an actual screen grab of the NYT website.

hmm

Omnia mutantur, nihil interit

Anger

Trying to get into the back parking lot to Miss Shirley's and had a road rage dilemma. Guy trying to come out of the lot, taking up both lanes of the parking lot entry. I wave him through (I'm on a one-way street, and there is no traffic approaching on either direction) and the guy tarries a bit too long for my taste. So, what awful, devious, mean-spirited word did I use at this moment to reflect my frustration? Go. To which, the guy responds by mouthing the word "chill."

Chill. From a fifty year old, luxury-SUV driving, white collar tool; the aggression cannot stand, right? So, what happens next? We exchange three to four volleys of "Go" followed by "Chill," before the old white dude lowers his window. He LOWERS his window, so what could I do?

I lower my window in time to hear...

"Chill."

My blood boils. There are so many perfect, fight provoking, racially divisive words ready to spew forth...but, being conscious of the two peace-loving passengers in the car, I simply responded with a loud, angry "GO."

He brakes, then goes, while yelling, "Chill." I yell go...he brakes again.

This is pure provocation.

As he pulls away and I pull into the lot, I flip him the old bird. He brakes...then leaves.

*******

I ask three things.

1> Am I wrong in thinking that this was a case of THE MAN trying to stubbornly correct my possibly boorish impatient manner? Personally, I'd label this as an instance of racism, classism, and ageism, but ELV has chided me enough about this, so I have to claim some fault. Yet, I can't help but thinking that the guy thinks that all other people must brake for him.

2> This had to have been the most unoriginal road altercation ever. Go and Chill. Those were the only words used. I mean, I was raging something fierce, with visions of getting out of the car to righteously beat old guy ass...yet the only bon mots out of my mouth was "Go." I think that's a huge step up in maturity.

3> This was a case of "last word." You know, the need to have the last word, stretching out an insignificant moment way to far because of the need to have the final say. Sad, on both of our accounts.

******

I bring this up because I've been thinking about anger. I know I have a bit of a rage issue...sorry to those who have felt the flames of my quick-starting, intense-burning, fast-dying anger. I'm trying to control it, and I'm much better than in younger days...but it took my father forty years to temper it, and yet it sometimes erupts once in a while in something quite frightening. I'm trying...bear with me. I'll get the hang of it sometime, right?

******

And to the guy who was dining at Miss Shirley's...I'm sorry we had that altercation, it ruined my really good morning. If you are holding up traffic, you should move your vehicle out of the way of others so that the route of others is not impinged by your lack of progression. Also, old men should not say chill. It is just sad. You are a dick, and I hope you die soon so that we may move forward. Go.

Mouse Problem/In Appreciation Brief

Part One: On Seeing the Furry Animal Scutter Out Of The Closet

Many of you live in urban centers, specifically residing in old buildings. For those of you who do not, you are doing quite well for yourselves. I speak not toward you who live in gleaming recent abodes. Old buildings have many problems from being old. Drafts (especially in my palatial, 20 foot tall ceilings with 19 foot tall windows apartment), old wood floors that may or may not insert splinters into your feet as you scurry (unfortunately, some don't step as much as they slide across the floor), and unwanted coinhabitors.

I saw a mouse pop out of my closet.

Yes, I am a messy man, with discrete piles of clothing laying about the floor. My closet, though, is relatively organized, with a low lying shelf for blankets and sheets. Ok, and the wads of clothes on the floor, pushing against the door, keeping the closet perpetually cracked.

Why is that a perfect residence for a mouse? Not the kitchen, but my closet?

So, what else could I do? I tore through the closet, herding the clothing to the other side of the room, and deploying mouse murdering implements.

Here's the list, now in my room:

• 4 spring loaded, wooden mouse traps, baited with cotton ball filaments coated with peanut butter.
• 3 bags of mouse/rodent poison in easy to chew paper packaging.
• 1 electrocution device...the Victor electronic mouse trap...when I bought it, the trap did NOT include batteries. Why not have a plug? What about a trap that pulses a electromagnetic wave that is tuned to destroy rodent brain patterns, having them run into the middle of the bathroom floor of the annoying art student who lives in the apartment one story down. Digression...this mouse trap is effective and neat.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This may have been the best Super Bowl commercial...from Blockbuster, presenting MOUSE.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Did ye know that there is a website called TREEHUGGER? An environmentally responsible hub...yes. I found it looking for a picture of a mouse (mammal), and finding an image of a mouse (bamboo). An optical mouse made of strips of bamboo. Mouse for $34 and the matching bamboo keyboard is $68. Trendy and eco-friendly.

When did people/groups begin co-opting insulting signifiers in ironic self-application? Treehugger, according to my friend wikipedia, was a slang term used to describe members of the Chipko movement, who would literally hug trees to prevent logging. For as long as I can remember, ardent environmentalist are called treehuggers in an insulting manner...yet, now we have a website for those avid earth appreciators.

Similarly, geek. "Geek chic" continues to rage on. Remember when it wasn't cool to be a geek? Contact lenses were cool, thick plastic frames weren't. Thank irony and jaded youths for the return of looking nerdy and caring about technology. However, there was something magical about the appellation "pencil neck geek," which clearly divided the pretty from the not so pretty. Also, I have to mark my current dislike of Janeane Garofalo. I remember, high school, thinking she was hot and cool and so anti-establishment. Now, she's kind of has-been or passe, right?

What about feminist? Wasn't it once good, now not so good? Or was it always kind of bad...for men. I grow tired of this digression.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

PART TWO: In Appreciation

Here's a quick rundown of appreciation, demanding a longer posting soon:

• "Who Killed the Electric Car?" a documentary about the demise of the electric vehicle. Should be required viewing for anyone who liked "An Inconvenient Truth."
• Colson Whitehead...his new book "Apex Hides the Hurt," continues his ascent toward American novel mastery. Whitehead can spin words into gleaming sentences, shimmering off the page.
• Neil Gaiman: I'm finally reading Sandman. Its good. Thanks JK.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

That's all for now. Time to take care of that mouse problem.

The Funny Commercials...

The Rock Paper Scissors Bud Light spot

Fist Bump is Out Bud Light spot

Garmin Super Map Fight

CareerBuilder Promotion Fight Pit

The Super Bowl

Sure, it was an interesting game. What, with two instances of back to back fumble turnovers and Hester running back the opening kickoff. The Indy team played exceptional team football (though, thank goodness that O-line was finally getting penalized for false starts) and deserved to win the game.

Let's get to the good stuff though...the commercials. For the most part, a dull, uninspired batch: of the few that got chuckles, the only one that had me laugh out loud was the Blockbuster "mouse" commercial. Yeehaw.

I'm done writing for now. yawn.

Teaser

Coming soon, to standardchuck!

A new feature, "In Appreciation Of..."

A new special topic, "The Super Bowl, or Better Than Average but Not Really Super."

and a new Special Feature Topic, "Very Important Issue!"

Coming soon, to your favorite non-popular blog!

Before you bet...

Here it is, the best prediction for Super Bowl XLI

Final Result: 28-24 Bears in a nail biter.

Cheesy, but amusing. Jim Haubaugh going buckwild...blasphemous.

Hodge-Podge

***This is a unfunny, three cups of coffee, writing without any purpose entry...read at your own risk.***

Thinking about a post...what to write on a dreary day when all I want to do it nap it out. So, I think about writing another one of those annoying random facts posts. So, on the post page, I type the word(s) hodge-podge in the subject when I'm struck with one of those random questions that can be the source of a wasted day: what was the origin of the word hodge-podge?

We all have those questions that tangentially pops up in our mind...one minute we're walking down the street, minding our own business, when we sense some stimuli that prompts a question about the nature of our world. For instance, when there is freezing rain, why does a brick sidewalk ice over at higher ambient temperatures compared to sidewalks made of concrete? I had this question as I carefully navigated the brick sidewalk outside my apartment this morning. Also from the above mentioned walk, the huge excrement pike on the sidewalk next to my street, was it deposited by a very large dog or a non-discrete human? Could have been either...

Anyway, you get the picture. There are those "I wonder" or "How does..." questions that can wiggle through your mind as you conjecture on the possible answers. Luckily, the internet, especially wikipedia, has made it easier to get the straight dope about those trivial questions (sorry Cecil Adams, I need my answers tout suite).

So, here's the 411 on hodge-podge (from wikipedia): Hodge-podge or hotchpotch or hotch pot is an English expression often used negatively, denoting a "mixture" or "medley" of things. According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary it is derived from the Middle English word hochepot and it is a: "Dish of many mixed ingredients, especially mutton broth with vegetables. This meaning of the word can still be found in the Dutch word "hutspot" (a dish of mashed potatoes with carrots and onions). In law it means a blending of properties (of intestate parents) for the purpose of securing equal division".

First off, I think I shall be saying hotch pot from now on. Say it out loud, with a harsh British accent, the hard consonants give it a fuddier, duddier atmosphere. HOTCH POT!

Second, have you ever used the term, or heard the term used, negatively? I can understand a bemoaning of the hutspot placed before you, your palate craving a nice lamb shank or a tender Wellington. The soot covered face of a disappointed husband bellowing out, "what's all this then? Another hodge-podge?" However, in America, when the word has been used, I think its more judgement neutral, without any positive or negative connotation.

Third, I think its funny that there's such a thing as the concise Oxford English Dictionary.

Lastly, a common corollary to the random question...the answer often times serves up another question. In this case, what the heck is intestate? Using my biological knowledge, I guess that it had something to do with the guts. Turns out that intestacy is something about estate laws and death. You can check out the full definition on wikipedia, but basically its the whole thing about doling out estate and assets when no will is present.

More interesting, for someone of such sophomoric humor, the testator is someone who by-passes intestacy by writing a will. They even have a female will maker word...testatrix.

Testatrix.

Please, someone, write something funny about this word so that I can justify the fact that I'm giggling to myself about it.

Digging even deeper, there are a slew of words that are odd or funny in inheritance law:

• THE SLAYER RULE: a doctrine that prohibits inheritance by a person who murders someone from whom they stand to inherit. There's a list of many lines written about the slayer rule.
• HOLOGRAPHIC WILL: at first, I got kinda excited, imagining holographic images of a person speaking their final thoughts, much like Ernest Borgenine in "Baseketball," except instead of VHS or DVD, its in life like, futuristic triple D. It actually means a will that's hand written.
• CODICIL: a replacement will, but doesn't it sound like a drug used to treat some made up illness, like chronic social expression disorder, or restless ulnar fatigue. Codicil should not be used while operating.

Enough. I was thinking of ways to extend this blog...since I'm on wills, I could talk about Good Will Hunting, George Will's love of baseball, anything having to do with Anna Nicole Smith, wondering if Will Smith is ever going to go back to rapping again, or pondering if someone posted a blog featuring a last will and testament, would that be admissible in court? Would that be legally binding?

You see?!! Random questions, they pop up all the time, if you let them. Stop them before they consume you by watching the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie! You know I'm talking to you, beantown.