Mouse Problem/In Appreciation Brief

Part One: On Seeing the Furry Animal Scutter Out Of The Closet

Many of you live in urban centers, specifically residing in old buildings. For those of you who do not, you are doing quite well for yourselves. I speak not toward you who live in gleaming recent abodes. Old buildings have many problems from being old. Drafts (especially in my palatial, 20 foot tall ceilings with 19 foot tall windows apartment), old wood floors that may or may not insert splinters into your feet as you scurry (unfortunately, some don't step as much as they slide across the floor), and unwanted coinhabitors.

I saw a mouse pop out of my closet.

Yes, I am a messy man, with discrete piles of clothing laying about the floor. My closet, though, is relatively organized, with a low lying shelf for blankets and sheets. Ok, and the wads of clothes on the floor, pushing against the door, keeping the closet perpetually cracked.

Why is that a perfect residence for a mouse? Not the kitchen, but my closet?

So, what else could I do? I tore through the closet, herding the clothing to the other side of the room, and deploying mouse murdering implements.

Here's the list, now in my room:

• 4 spring loaded, wooden mouse traps, baited with cotton ball filaments coated with peanut butter.
• 3 bags of mouse/rodent poison in easy to chew paper packaging.
• 1 electrocution device...the Victor electronic mouse trap...when I bought it, the trap did NOT include batteries. Why not have a plug? What about a trap that pulses a electromagnetic wave that is tuned to destroy rodent brain patterns, having them run into the middle of the bathroom floor of the annoying art student who lives in the apartment one story down. Digression...this mouse trap is effective and neat.

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This may have been the best Super Bowl commercial...from Blockbuster, presenting MOUSE.

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Did ye know that there is a website called TREEHUGGER? An environmentally responsible hub...yes. I found it looking for a picture of a mouse (mammal), and finding an image of a mouse (bamboo). An optical mouse made of strips of bamboo. Mouse for $34 and the matching bamboo keyboard is $68. Trendy and eco-friendly.

When did people/groups begin co-opting insulting signifiers in ironic self-application? Treehugger, according to my friend wikipedia, was a slang term used to describe members of the Chipko movement, who would literally hug trees to prevent logging. For as long as I can remember, ardent environmentalist are called treehuggers in an insulting manner...yet, now we have a website for those avid earth appreciators.

Similarly, geek. "Geek chic" continues to rage on. Remember when it wasn't cool to be a geek? Contact lenses were cool, thick plastic frames weren't. Thank irony and jaded youths for the return of looking nerdy and caring about technology. However, there was something magical about the appellation "pencil neck geek," which clearly divided the pretty from the not so pretty. Also, I have to mark my current dislike of Janeane Garofalo. I remember, high school, thinking she was hot and cool and so anti-establishment. Now, she's kind of has-been or passe, right?

What about feminist? Wasn't it once good, now not so good? Or was it always kind of bad...for men. I grow tired of this digression.

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PART TWO: In Appreciation

Here's a quick rundown of appreciation, demanding a longer posting soon:

• "Who Killed the Electric Car?" a documentary about the demise of the electric vehicle. Should be required viewing for anyone who liked "An Inconvenient Truth."
• Colson Whitehead...his new book "Apex Hides the Hurt," continues his ascent toward American novel mastery. Whitehead can spin words into gleaming sentences, shimmering off the page.
• Neil Gaiman: I'm finally reading Sandman. Its good. Thanks JK.

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That's all for now. Time to take care of that mouse problem.