Anger

Trying to get into the back parking lot to Miss Shirley's and had a road rage dilemma. Guy trying to come out of the lot, taking up both lanes of the parking lot entry. I wave him through (I'm on a one-way street, and there is no traffic approaching on either direction) and the guy tarries a bit too long for my taste. So, what awful, devious, mean-spirited word did I use at this moment to reflect my frustration? Go. To which, the guy responds by mouthing the word "chill."

Chill. From a fifty year old, luxury-SUV driving, white collar tool; the aggression cannot stand, right? So, what happens next? We exchange three to four volleys of "Go" followed by "Chill," before the old white dude lowers his window. He LOWERS his window, so what could I do?

I lower my window in time to hear...

"Chill."

My blood boils. There are so many perfect, fight provoking, racially divisive words ready to spew forth...but, being conscious of the two peace-loving passengers in the car, I simply responded with a loud, angry "GO."

He brakes, then goes, while yelling, "Chill." I yell go...he brakes again.

This is pure provocation.

As he pulls away and I pull into the lot, I flip him the old bird. He brakes...then leaves.

*******

I ask three things.

1> Am I wrong in thinking that this was a case of THE MAN trying to stubbornly correct my possibly boorish impatient manner? Personally, I'd label this as an instance of racism, classism, and ageism, but ELV has chided me enough about this, so I have to claim some fault. Yet, I can't help but thinking that the guy thinks that all other people must brake for him.

2> This had to have been the most unoriginal road altercation ever. Go and Chill. Those were the only words used. I mean, I was raging something fierce, with visions of getting out of the car to righteously beat old guy ass...yet the only bon mots out of my mouth was "Go." I think that's a huge step up in maturity.

3> This was a case of "last word." You know, the need to have the last word, stretching out an insignificant moment way to far because of the need to have the final say. Sad, on both of our accounts.

******

I bring this up because I've been thinking about anger. I know I have a bit of a rage issue...sorry to those who have felt the flames of my quick-starting, intense-burning, fast-dying anger. I'm trying to control it, and I'm much better than in younger days...but it took my father forty years to temper it, and yet it sometimes erupts once in a while in something quite frightening. I'm trying...bear with me. I'll get the hang of it sometime, right?

******

And to the guy who was dining at Miss Shirley's...I'm sorry we had that altercation, it ruined my really good morning. If you are holding up traffic, you should move your vehicle out of the way of others so that the route of others is not impinged by your lack of progression. Also, old men should not say chill. It is just sad. You are a dick, and I hope you die soon so that we may move forward. Go.