- The Taliban have freed some of the Korean hostages: close read this - "Meanwhile, U.S.-led coalition and Afghan forces killed more than 100 suspected Taliban insurgents in southern Afghanistan." Suspected. That's a strong word, eh? what a bargain - in exchange for the hostages, Korea promised to remove its troops from Afghanistan. Isn't that the best of both worlds? Get the hostages back, and get your soldiers back. stopping the Jesus flow - Korea promised to stop missionaries from working in Afghanistan, which it had assured before the hostage events. Now, knowing Koreans, particularly Korean missionaries, this is the most empty statement since the Idaho senator Larry Craig claimed that he isn't gay. funny thing about Idaho senators - just because I have the sense of humor of a twelve year old, how about the name of the other Republican senator from the great state of Idaho. Idaho, Crapo, what a great gag state.
- The Two Year Anniversary Since Hurricane Katrina: picture it - Bush and Mayor Ray Nagin. Something about this shot seems really wrong. close read this #1 - "The day has also attracted a passel of politicians — President Bush chief among them. He and Laura Bush arrived Tuesday night and dined with Leah Chase, the Queen of Creole cooking, New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees and musician Irvin Mayfield." Anyone else thinking that having an excellent dinner isn't really helping? When I read this, the first thing I thought of was "You're doing a great job, Brownie." close read this #2 - "Meanwhile, an international people's tribunal has been convened to take testimony from victims. The tribunal is being spearheaded by legal activists trying to build a case under international law accusing the United States of human rights abuses during and after Katrina." Is this really necessary? Sounds like a hippie plot. Sure, mistakes were made, and blunders continue...yet, this tribunal will only a. make the rest of the world hate us more and b. do absolutely nothing to the current administration. Attention, U.S. policy PR people, stop the hippies. if only this were true - "People are angry and they want to send a message to politicians that they want them to do more and do it faster," said the Rev. Marshall Truehill, a Baptist pastor and community activist. "Nobody's going to be partying." Unfortunately, there will be drunk white people partying on Bourbon Street. There's a great article in this week's Sports Illustrated which subtly portrays the huge difference in rebuilding efforts between white and black neighborhoods. The main problem lies in an obscenely racist division between rebuilt and rebuilt not. just not right - total amount dispersed to Katrina victims by the government = $96 billion. total amount spent on war in Iraq and Afghanistan in 2007 alone = ~$650 billion. moving at the speed of bureaucracy - the levees will be repaired by 2015. Eight years. Good luck.
- Keith Richards is Mad: 56000 Swedes can't be wrong - Tabloids Expressen and Aftonbladet gave thumbs down to the Aug. 3 concert at Ullevi stadium in Goteborg, with Expressen suggesting Richards was "superdrunk" on stage. This riled up the 63 year old cadavar to the point that he wrote a letter saying that he wants an apology for the fans. "There were 56,000 people in Ullevi stadium who bought a ticket to our concert — and experienced a completely different show than the one you 'reviewed,'" the letter said. Delusional Corpses...that would make a great band name. write the truth - Keith wrote "How dare you cheapen the experience for them — and for the hundreds of thousands of other people across Sweden who weren't at Ullevi and have only your 'review' to go on.
"Write the truth. It was a good show." After writing these sentence, Keith promptly spontaneously combusted, leaving behind only a cloud of cocaine residue and completely lack of objectivity. line of the year - "It is Keith who should apologize. After all it costs around $145 to see a rock star who can hardly handle the (guitar) riff to 'Brown Sugar' any more." oh, Swedish snap! - Helmsley Dog Gets Millions: this bites - dog gets 12 million, two grandchildren get nothing. what did the grandchildren (or the parents of said grandchildren) do to get stiffed? the cryptic "reasons known to them" statement for why they were getting stiffed makes for an intriguing parlor game...what did you do to get written out of Helmsley's will? My vote, personally shitting on the dog.
- Doctor Killed Beethovan: shake that lead out - Dr. Wawruch overdosed the composer with lead. the yawn sonata - why is this an interesting story? like, for instance, what if we found out that Benjamin Franklin got murderized by cyanide laced 16 year old girls? um, wait, that would be pretty cool, right?
one more...
- Burning Man Torched Early: sincere response - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Take that hippies! Captain "I Want to Punch Him" - the arsonist looks like a douchebag. the decision making of hippies - "It was in plain sight of many people. Everyone is looking at it this morning, this big black figure in the sky and that wasn't supposed to burn, saying, 'Now what do we do?'" I imagine the crowd vocalizing a lot of "whoas" (think Keanu Reeves) and much scratching of unwashed white boy dreadlocks. seriously, what now? - they're rebuilding a pile of wood so that they can burn it again. yet, we can't get New Orleans habitable. fucking hippies.
thanks, you've been a great audience. you're beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment