Saturday, December 30, 2006

new post

there's alot to report, but i injured my right pinky and typing is difficult. therefore, new post coming in the 07. peace be with you all.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The specialness that is me

Don't you hate Web 2.0? Sure, we give ourselves a pat on the back, winning the Time cover for persons of the year, but really, what are WE really? We are a collective of individuals with our own interests and hobbies and thoughts and persuasions that are really only interesting in diverting, non-important manners. For instance, what's the hottest application that's the pointy end of the mighty 2.0 spear? YouTube...where you'll find incredibly stupid hot people doing webblogs, insanely idiotic people running into walls, and totally outrageous pet behavior. Sure, I enjoy perusing images of humping dog USB drives, but honestly, how is that more incredible than any other time waster that we have invented?

The main target of this rant, though, is for MySpace and all those other social networking sites. Here's a for instance: my friend sent me a link to his MySpace homespace space. I click on the link to see a picture of me buddy, mugging away. Fun. Below, we've got all these interesting factoids about my friend. Did you know that his personal quote involves some inane line from "Office Space?" Did you know that he likes every band that has released an album that got the cover of College Music Journal? Did you know that he's actually read a book?

Hint: for those of you who really want to met other kindred spirits, type in favorites that are on the tail end of the long tail. There's really nothing special about liking Coldplay and Radiohead. Now, if you were to say that you like Ambergris, someone might come along and find another Ambergris fan out in the ether and try to hump you.

Now, on top of finding out interesting facts about my friend (wow, he really liked Pirates of the Carribean, that explains why he named his dog Sparrow), I can read his blog postings (ex. mood=happy! I can't believe she drank the whole thing!!! ROFL! smiley emoticon) and see who he's friends with (wow, 300+ friends, including Nabokov, Colonel Sanders, and the great state of Pennsylvania!). Not really all that much to bitch about...

Holy crap. Below the listing of friends like notches upon the belt is a message board system filled with the most inane ridiculousness this side of not knowing the context. Really, I was dumbfounded by the possible meanings of some posts such as "Dude, where's the bacon," and "Give a cripple crab a crutch." Honestly, this is the cyber variation of writing notes in homeroom. The entire hoopla of the importance of Web 2.0 and the genius of us lies in simply translating the banal conventions of society into handle user interfaces on the computer. "You mean I get to write about all that's important to me, and I get to chat with my buddies...all from one page?!! Then I can link it up to that video I shot with my cell phone camera of that hottie vomiting outside Power Plant Live." Yes, we've basically taken every stupid conversation that can be overheard at a party and displayed it for all the world to see.

So, as much as I enjoy all the applications of Web 2.0, it still isn't something that we should all be proud of...love, a dude writing something on a blog (hello irony).

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Best of noculture

I belong to this group of friends who always seem to find interesting things on the web. Not checking the site for a few days, I find that the blog is chock full of neat items. Here's a sampling.

The Hoff is back. David Hasselhoff's "Jump In My Car."

Nasty. Doll Devotees.

Turkish Airlines sacrifices a camel.

The Japanese have finally done it. A Humping Dog USB device. Finally.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Overheard/Overseen

At a holiday party, a group of three girls:
Girl 1- I cooked this really delicious meal for him.
Girl 2- What did you make?
Girl 1- Get this, so I took a bowl and sprayed butter spray...
Girl 3- Like I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
Girl 1- Yeah, its just as good.
...
Girl 1- So I took some romaine lettuce, some spices and stuff, and added Swanson chicken, which is this precooked chicken that you can find in the frozen food section.
Girl 2-I've never heard of that.
Girl 1-Yeah, we'll its so much easier to cook than normal chicken.
...
Girl 1- So I combine all this stuff, and stick it in the microwave, and it turns out really good.
Girl 3- That sounds yummy.
Girl 1- Yeah, but he was like this isn't that good, and I'm like, what an asshole!

I'm serious, these gourmand were really discussing the magic of microwave chicken.

Girl 1 also contributed this bon mot: "...so the gym called and was like YOU HAVE TO COME IN and I was like, I've got to go."

What does any of this mean?

...

Last night at poker, Billy Mac decided to make pictograms using poker chips. He made a smiley face, his luck went a bit bad, so he made an unhappy face. However, a stroke of brilliance...he made a phallus shape with red chips...holding white chips, he splashed the pot, a perfect demonstration of human biology. Of course, this inspired me to recreate the female counterpart with pop up parson in the pulpit. Yeah, we've got problems.

Rubes then makes a pair of boobs...but it actually ended up looking like a lonely horizontal three. Of course, since this game is with a bunch of smart guys, the observation on Rubes' picture: "look, its omega."

Monday, December 11, 2006

So...More Quick Hits

  • This week in football: lost in the first round of Fantasy playoffs, but then again, real life Ravens won. Their defense looks great, and the offense isn't terrible. Here's to continuing the winning ways.
  • The Arcade Fire aren't a very good band. The lead singer, live, sounds like someone squeezing an old Mickey Rooney to 4/4 time.
  • Rounders is still a great movie, especially the role played by John Turturro. The exchange in the law library is classic: Jo - Knish, how are you doing? Knish - The same.
  • The zero conundrum: seeing as how linear time, according to our gregorian calendar, measures time A.D. and B.C. (or B.C.E., or whatever terminology you decide to use). Is there a year zero? or is there simply a 1BC transitioning into 1AD?
  • Of the radiohead inspired late 90's, early aught bands, which was your favorite? Coldplay, Travis, Kent, Muse, Keane, Sigur Ros, etc. I don't know...I held high hope for Travis...can't stand Coldplay after their last album...Sigur Ros is a mood specific band...Muse didn't do anything while Keane attempts to pop it up. I have no comment on the defunct Kent. So the winner? Super Furry Animals? National Skyline? The damned Vines? I have no clue...this is a ridiculous line of logic.
  • Someone needs to make a Sugar Hill Gang alarm clock. An episode of Scrubs featured an alarm clock with a ring of Rapper's Delight. I wish it really existed.
  • Final thought: Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

How Time Flies...

...when you're having sleeping problems. Howdy, intrepid standard readers. There is much to report and commentate upon:
  • NYC: Went up to the big city to help VV and his blushing bride move into their new "flat" (or apartment) on the east side of the big island. Nice neighborhood and all, but I'd say that the place really needs more shelving. Yes, and more Ikea chairs which are deceptively difficult to put together. But, VV, that aero-bed was freakin' awesome. Additionally, ELV and I visited one of her old friends residing in Brooklyn. Good peoples.
  • Thoughts about NYC: I have a theory that New York causes people to draw inward into themselves. Perhaps due to the constriction in space due to living in small spaces, walking on packed sidewalks, and standing in jammed subway cars, New Yorkers seem more self-involved (for lack of a better word, since I don't mean to say involved in a negative connotation). How does one keep their sanity in the crush of humanity? Answer - pop in the ear buds, pretend that no one else exists as you talk too loud into your cell phone, bumping into people and mutter death to those who cross your path. Then again, maybe I'm just a country bumpkin who just wants people to be a little nicer in the big apple.
  • According to ELV, the cupcakes from that place featured in the "Lazy Sunday" video aren't really that crazy delicious.
  • Why do my iPods break down do frequently? My current theory is that my car adaptor unit may be fluctuating, thus frying the hard drive (or at least giving it a solid tweak that makes iPod fritzy).
  • The Tenacious D concert at the Patriot Center (D.C.) was fantastic. "Wait a minute, Chuck," I hear you saying, "aren't they a joke band? Isn't it a played out joke? How could it be a good show?" Well, dear reader, often times with rock concerts, I find myself a bit bored. There's nothing really to look at unless you like oogling band members, which doesn't happen unless I'm at a Metric show, and most bands just play their songs with little to no banter, speeding through their set with about as much energy as Proust having a madeline. Yeah, excitement isn't hipster, but most hipsters tend to be boring schmucks who need to have their socks rocked off. The Tenacious D show featured most of the songs from the band's two full length releases, which if you are familiar with the songs you know that there's ample scatological and sophomoric humor. The magic of the show lies in other things: the musicianship of Kyle Gass' impressive acoustic solos, the collective skill of the backing band (Colonol Sanders on drums, Charlie Chaplin on bass, and the freaking' Antichrist on lead guitar who can shred), the set design featuring a replica of Gass' "duplex" and a stage setup of a hell bound rock band, complete with triple bass drum set on risers WITH a gong. The comedy between songs ranges from scripted banality to improvised genius, and Black fluctuates between outrageous over the top nonsense and complete heartfelt rock stardom. That's the beauty of the D; they are mocking their true love of metal. Its a mash note to Dio, Queen, the Who, and the Zep. In fact, the covers of Zep and Who, especially the incredible "Pinball Wizard" cover ending the show, demonstrated the hilarious seriousness that the D pours into their show. That love shines through, making the show both inspiring and entertaining. Best show of 2006.
  • Poker home game note: spent a night fluctuating up and down, coming out a couple dollars short of even. Yeah, no big win, no big loss, just even. Here's a suggestion: if you've got a home game, don't be hard asses and institute casino rules. If the table is collecting a rake and you're serving unlimited drinks in scantily clad waitresses, then proceed with the rules about burn cards, money on table, and table talking. Otherwise, remember, its supposed to be a gathering of friends playing a damn game.
  • This just in from the CBS morning show: "Sexual health is a part of general health." Thanks, Julie Chen.
  • Music: apparently the Tom Waits album "Orphans" is quite good. I'll get a chance to listen to it soon and you'll read a report. Got the "Stranger than Fiction" soundtrack, and the album is pretty darn good. The Spoon contributions are excellent, and I'm glad I caught up with such an important footnote in one-hit wonders, Wreckless Eric's "Whole Wide World." DOWNLOAD THIS: Spoon "Book I Write"
  • Got interested in science/technology postings on YouTube...here's the best of the lot I've found:
  • Finally, there's a guy named Lasse Gjertsen who has done some interesting video editing projects. Here's my favorite two: Amateur and Hyperactive.
OK, that's enough of this.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Monday, November 27, 2006

Thanksgiving in Buffalo

Spent thanksgiving with the Vaughns up in Buffalo, New York.

ELV's parents hosted a massive dinner, inviting many friends and family. Thus, they needed a giant bird. What a bird it was: using a salt rub that kept the meat juicy and tender, the centerpiece delighted the palate and reduced me to a quivering weeper with a belly full of meat.

The food was spectacular.








Gorgeous bird!









The perfect post thanksgiving sandwich. The BIG SANDWICH, in all of its glory.






Below, random pictures of ELV, Toby the dog, and Niagara Falls.


ELV with the pooch. The dog, though a bit ornery in his old age, cuddled up with ELV on the living room couch. Love the way the sunlight spotted on ELV's face.








Cat avec turkey drumsticks.












Jayson, the roomie, in a movie scene "It Happened in Niagara."











Longer exposure of the right side of Horseshoe Falls part of Niagara Falls.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thanks

So, we've only got a month before the end of 2006 (what's the plans for ringing in the new year? Will it be talking with the Baltimore people congregated around the keg? Will it be searching for the perfect spot to ring in the New Year in NYC? Will it involve D.C.? Who knows, we shall see.). Before I leave for Buffalo, where I will make my traditional big sandwich in the company of ELV's family, I think I should make a list of thanks:
  • An interesting year of writing, reading, watching, and seeing.
  • Another great year with ELV, who is the epitome of kindness and support. Thanks for being there when I need you, and for all the great memories thus far.
  • Another year of good health, though I've gained way too much weight. When you break two belts in a calendar year, you really need to start thinking about drastic lifestyle changes.
  • The speedy recovery of Andrew's dad from a devastating illness. I'm sorry to those who've had life altering illnesses and accidents to their loved ones.
  • The marriage of many good friends: Vini, thanks for giving me a reason to see Europe; Kid W, who has been a great friend and I'm glad we've bonded; Tobes, who has taken more abuse over his choice of dietary restriction than should be allowed; JK, ye of continuing 4am phone calls even with a wife...and congrats to all those who have become betrothed.
  • The continuing success of all of the Na family: Sis with her future as a PA, Dad with a booming successful ministry, and Mom who continues to be brave and loving.
  • The passing of my grandmother was a blessing. She's finally free from pain.
  • All the great people I've met through comedy writing and screenwriting. Thanks for the ideas and kinship.
  • To my roomie J, who, though he gets sick and passes out, is a great dude to share an abode with.
  • The poker crew, though I'm not fond of them taking all my money.
  • All the great places I've gotten to visit over the calendar year. France, Buffalo, Annapolis, Berkeley Springs...
  • The great movies of this year, for inspiring and delighting me.
  • The album of the year for me: Sufjan Stevens Illinoise
  • The books I've enjoyed most this year: Homicide by David Chase and Love in the Time of Cholera by Marquez.
  • The overthrow of the Republican control of the legislative branch.
  • The discovery of eBay and my entrance into selling stuff.
  • The gadgets: Sirius satellite radio, my Sony DVD burner, HP's PSC 1610 All in One scanner/printer, my new iPod screen, PS2's wireless controllers, my cell phone, which allows me to answer KG's phone calls to the ringtone of Johnny Cash's "The Man Comes Around."
  • My penguin t-shirt which features a penguin with a rocket pack.
  • The knowledge that whatever happens in life happens and ranting about does absolutely nothing good.
  • The wonder of forgiveness through time (Thanks to DF and JK for letting bygones be bygones)
  • Second City experience, awesome.
  • The fact that the Ravens are still performing well, though I hope this posting doesn't jinx them.
  • Seeing an awesome Built to Spill show.
  • Pearl Jam at the MCI Center.
  • Being able to sleep without extreme worries about bills and money.
Thanks to all those who made this year a year to remember. Happy turkey day, folks (to Sopers, enjoy the blanched veggies).

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Michael Richards Explosion

If you haven't heard by now, Michael Richards (Kramer from Seinfeld) had a tirade while performing a standup set where he used the N word repeatedly. There's been an outrage that's been brewing from the incident, inflamed by his half-hearted apology on the Letterman show. Sure, Richards said some nasty things, using the N word, which is inappropriate and shocking. However, I think there are some things that should be stated in review of the situation.
  • The African-Americans were heckling a comedian. There were some terribly hurtful things being hurled by the two audience members and Richards reacted. Overly reacted...
  • During the initial outburst, the audience members laughed. Only when outrage was directed back toward Richards did the audience walk out. There's still a huge enjoyment of racism on stage.
  • The African Americans threated Richards immediately following the tirade. When is it right to fire back racist comments and threats of violence to some words?!! Should I fight someone because of a derogatory asian comment (often hurled toward me from black people)? Why is it allowed for blacks to call other people names without threat of violence? There is a stupid, ignorant double standard implimented by African Americans where the N word is completely verboten while other words directed against other races is alright, chuckled off. If the injured party took the high road, then this outrage would be alright, but there's attacks from both ends.
  • Attention comedy club attendees, don't go to a show if you plan on heckling throughout the set. Don't go. It shows very low class and stupidity. A comedian can suck, but just shut the f up and don't laugh.
  • Richards apology, though rooted in the Mel Gibson routine half-hearted apology, is interesting in that he looks like he's in shock.
  • The one guy makes a good point: Richards is washed up.
The only way to fight racism is to embrace Lenny Bruce's assertation that words only have the power that a society gives them (thus words can be meaningless and should not be the basis of censorship and provocation). They're just words, and our PC world's getting really out of hand.

Either that, or let's just be consistent and ban all race slurs, including cracker.

Notes

The Ohio lottery winning four numbers were the score of the big game between Ohio St. and Michigan.

My birthday was great. ELV made a great b-day book, especially "Penguins Eating Dessert."

The roomie got the new Madden game. Tough.

Tired.

Turkey day approacheth. Prepare for the big sandwich.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Chris Ware


Bought a few things from Atomic Books. Most excited about Chris Ware's Acme Novelty Library collection. Encased in a beautiful red folio with elegant gold foil details, the loneliness obsessed creations of Ware are featured in strips such as "Rusty Brown." I've been fascinated with his simple art matched to some verbose diatribes. However, the best thing about Ware's work is his use of font and layout. Here's the wikipedia entry about Ware. For some representative artwork, click here.

Also, have you seen the website "Stuff On My Cat" (or Stuff + Cats = Awesome)? I think it rivals Hitler Cats for feline hilarity, so check it out.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Writing in the A.M.

Walking to the mail box, at 6am, inspired by a Murakami short story and events in recent days. The main theme of the story has no reflection on my life right now, so lest you worry, ELV and I are happy as two peas in a pod.

An Unlikely Proposal - 11/13/2006

I never would have suspected that such enlightenment came from a bowl of spicy ramen. Sure, for a person who looks for the folds in the cosmic vapor that portends the events to be, the configuration of the noodles would have indicated a certainty. How depressing, if you ask me, to think that some rehydrated carbs meant that I had to make this phone call to you. Yes, I did call urgently, but believe me, there is a greater logic working here than simply my food made me do it.

First, if you don’t mind, let me explain my mindset, which means that I need to delve into the events that transpired before my dialing of your number. It was another one of those days where nothing seems to be just right. The alarm didn’t ring on time, though I’m quite good at rolling over into waking without the jarring buzz, but my forgetfulness bothered me. That kind of self-reproach clung to me as I jumped into the shower, bathing in lukewarm water because my roommate took a lengthy shower. He is inconsiderate, but what can I say, we’ve been friends for such a long time.

If you remember, the latch on the front door always had that bent corner on the metal faceplate near the handle. That one time, as we were going to the movies, you caught your pashmina scarf, the one that we got on our trip to India. Well, this morning, that damned corner scratched me on the hand. Its alright, luckily I still carry that little kit in my messenger’s bag, so I put some anti-bacterial ointment on the cut during the subway ride.

Work, as always, put me into an awful mood. I don’t have to go into it, the same old humdrum soul sucking events around the water cooler. One thing, do you remember that guy in accounting, Akima from that one party at McKee’s? Yeah, the one with the spiky hair, well he got a strange promotion today, which really wasn’t progression, more like a sideways shift to another location. Anyway, we were working on a project, but now, he won’t have time to help me with the financial figures. I got a new partner from his department who looks like a promising candidate for insipid worthlessness. I shouldn’t be so harsh, but it’s unlikely he’ll be able to just show up and leap into a project that’s been in the works for six months.

I’m sorry, I know that I’m harping about work, and I’ll digress. Upon arrival at the abode, I decided to make some ramen that I got at the Asian market. Remember the spicy ramen that you liked so much, the ones with the dried fishcakes? Yeah, but without the extra hot sauce that you craved. I’m still amazed that you could handle so much heat, but your palate was too delicate to handle wasabi. Taste buds are a funny thing, aren’t they?

So, there I was, adding all the ingredients into the pot of bubbling water. I turned away from the stove to get a drink. Right you are, my post-work scotch because I still am prematurely old, but one thing has changed, I add a little drambuie, thus giving me a post-work rusty nail. So, I’ve got my drink, and the ramen’s done, so I pour the contents into a bowl and sit in the living room, ready to watch a little television. Well, here we get to the crystal ball moment; I look down at the noodle, ready to dig in with chopsticks in hand, when I notice that they spelled a word. The noodles, yes, they spelled out a name. Right you are, ding ding, she’s correct, the orientation of the plump strings floating in the red broth formed a conspicuous representation of your name.

Well, of course, I look at this with disbelief, so much so that I let out a little chuckle of surprise. Then, the flood of memories, a deluge, and my heart felt heavy. I knew what I had to do. I had to call you and rehash the past.

But wait, I had the doubts, the logical arguments that this might be a horrible idea. There are so many twists that a phone conversation, without the guide of a face-to-face meeting, is a treacherous undertaking, especially given the nature of our current relationship. How would I react if you had called with such an absurd premise, I asked myself. Even more, maybe you wouldn’t answer the phone when my name popped up on the display, much like those days after the fight. Perhaps a letter, one explaining everything that swarm my mind, articulate and thorough, would have been a better choice.

I’m still impulsive, as you can see, or hear, I guess. So, here’s the reason I called, how about we meet up somewhere, for a cup of coffee or something, and just talk. There’s so much to talk about, and I’m quite sure that I’ve learned so much in the time that has passed. I think I’m ready. No, I know that I’m ready. A place of your choice for the intention of a meeting of the minds, with no pressure at all…

So, what do you think?

Um, fuck it; the noodles made me do it. Goodbye.

Music, or Making Melodies Is Easy

As we held our guitars, my roommate and I butchered a song. Discussing chord progressions and arpeggios, we were in awe of the development of melodies by a song writer.

How do they do it?

Additionally, how did Marvin Gaye come up with the unique singing on "Let's Get It On?" Singing off the beat slightly, yet creating a cohesive rhythm...not easy to create, but fun to ape.

Quick Hits:
  • The Ravens continue to roll. They come from behind and beat the Titans, giving McNair a fond F-you to his former team. Good times.
  • Have you ever sat down to watch a movie on AMC or TCM, then looked up and realized that you've been watching cable for four hours?
  • Tenacious D's Wonderboy is now in my song repetoire. I'm happy to note that I can play solos, though choppily.
  • Ate at a place called Dionysius. Nice bar, but the food was lacking. Overall note: a disappointing C-.
  • I hate Michael Vick. He's fantasy kryptonite.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Mid-Term Election Fun

Quick Hit Thoughts:
  • The Dems now hold majority in the house, while the senate swings on the results of two close races. The key for the Democrats is not to squander the congressional leadership in order to ride the wave into the White House in two years.
  • Hillary Clinton spent alot of money...to win 66-33. Not bad for NY, but really, you can't win your state handily, and yet you think you've got a shot for the presidency?
  • Anyone else see Bill standing behind Hillary as she gave her victory speech? Just doesn't seem right to have the less charismatic speaker standing mute.
  • Ford, the loser in the Tennessee senatorial race, gave an excellent consolation speech. The guy, who is only 36, has a bright future in front of him. Too bad racist campaigns can beat good candidates (at the same time, what was Ford thinking when he crashed the opponent's press conference?)
  • Mostly watched MSNBC coverage, though their reliance on "wobbly cam" technology gave me sea sickness. Sadly, CNN and Headline News both overused the slowly moving camera shot. Only fair and balance Fox News was able to keep a shot focused and still.
  • Comedy Central's Midterm Midtactular was entertaining, but the highlight was Dan Rather's appearance. He deserved better than the ouster provided by the evil CBS empire.
More Thoughts to Come?

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunday

The wedding was a success. Here's some snippets: no errors for the wedding party, excluding the groom with an early turn during the adoration of the holy family toward the end of the wedding service; one best man, two matrons of honor, equals a girl on both me arms...pimp; ELV backstage at the wedding getting a view of the emotional bride, fighting back tears...of joy, hopefully; the mansion house at the Baltimore Zoo is a lovely venue for a reception; an excellent DJ, one who played tasteful music and did not annoy the guests with their presence; introduction of the wedding party while playing the Iron and Wine version of "Such Great Heights"; dancing with the groom...very nice; dance with ELV...very nicer; a tray of spanakopita to take home...extreme niceness. Altogether, an excellent wedding: best wishes for the bride and groom...enjoy the Keys.

Borat the movie. GO SEE IT. Funny stuff.

Go Ravens. 6-2. Couldn't watch it, though.

Very tired. Thus, no full sentences. Goodbye.

Friday, November 03, 2006

On the approaching weekend

In order of importance in the grand scheme of things:
  • The wedding: going to the rehersal and accompanying dinner tonight. The Sop's pop and mom are cool people as are Grit's parental units. There's going to be load of people at the dinner (something upwards 30+) elegantly crammed into the Soper chalet, so I'm expecting sweltering conditions and (hopefully) a fist fight. The wedding, tomorrow, should be a tear-jerking moment as my very good friend walks down the aisle to matrimonial oblivion. The happy couple are doing all the decorating (including the preparation of 100 dozen roses for decorations...that's alot of thorns, people), and I'm hoping that there will not be a nervous breakdown for anyone involved. Best wishes to the event!
  • Borat: the movie...tonight, after the dinner, I'll be attending a late night showing of the Borat movie. The critical buzz behind this comedic behemoth is so large that I'm afraid that it will fail to meet up with my expectations. However, looking at this as the lost Andy Kaufman film, I'm sure that entertainment will be had by all.
  • The Bengals/Ravens matchup: yes, I know, T.J. Houshmanzadaabndgohadsh always destroys the Ravens secondary. Sure, ocho cinco has called out Ray Lewis. Of course, Rudi Johnson is a better back than the decrepit Jamal Lewis. However, I'm fairly sure that this will be tight contest that will come out in the Ravens favor. Without the ability to stop the run, the Bengals will not have the ball on offense enough to threaten the Ravens...yet, if the Ravens suddenly catch a case of fumblitis or interceptococcus, it'll be over quicker than a down orchestrated by Kyle Boller. Please stay healthy, McNair, please stay healthy.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

On Video Games

There is a station on the cable television, called G4, that focuses on the world of video games. "Really?!!" you say, shaking your cooler than thou head with a dismissive panache, "so its all RPG all the time, hosted by greasy guys with pizza bellies, right?"

"Absolutely not," I reply earnestly, "the shows are all hosted by smarmy nerd-chic skinny guys and ridiculously hot women who actually seem to enjoy gaming."

Yes, that's right, a world of pretty people who actually enjoy the anti-athletic activity of mashing buttons.

"Huh, so you're doing an advertisement or something," you dismissively utter between sips from a vente mochaccino.

No, that is not the point of this blog. Rather, I'm curious, how much further can graphical quality improve in the future of video game design?

Here's a graphic depiction of the evolution of graphic capabilities (in other words, how pretty the pictures are...)

ATARI
Nintendo

3DO


Playstation 2

Playstation 3

Isn't it entirely possible, like the dramatic development of other technological advances, video graphics is approaching the apex of exponential growth? There's only smaller improvements that can be made, in my opinion. Look at the video graphics of PS3 and Xbox 360 games. How much improvement is there to be made?

Can't wait to get my hands on the "tres."

Monday, October 30, 2006

Voltron


Here's why this PBF comic resonates with me. After the first episode of Voltron, my four friends and I chose the different Voltron characters. The guy in the group that was oldest in age took the red character, and the rest of us scurried to attain anyone but the yellow lion (who looked weak). Imagine my delight when I got the blue lion...and my dismay when in a later episode, the blue lion human was killed off and replaced by...the princess. Thus, in all the childhood Voltron games, I was a girl. The resulting blow to my machismo can be evidenced by my current enjoyment of palate-tantalyzing herbal teas and my fascination with Dabney Coleman, who looks like he would be a great dad.

Seriously, though, I hate Voltron now.

Weekend

This weekend, eschewing the Halloween parties, ELV and I made our way to West Virginia to enjoy a getaway from the city. We chose to stay at a chalet in Berkeley Spring, WV, deep in the heart of the mountains. Sure, leaving Friday in the evening rain, with all those weekend rushers clogging the roads wasn't the best of ideas, but the clarity found in the total darkness of the mountains was well worth the three hours of aggrevation.

During our time at Berkeley Springs, we enjoyed a spa experience, soaking in the waters from a source that once bathed President Washington.

There are many jokes and stories to share abotu Berkeley Springs, but honestly, I'm too lazy to write them right now. There will be pictures, as well.

Instead, I'll just post a PBF comic and wipe my hands clean right now. Go Ravens.



Friday, October 27, 2006

Chewing on rocks is bad for the teeth

I chipped my tooth today. Just, pop, then a crack...that was it. The arrow in the figure to the right indicates an approximation where the crack in the tooth occurred. That was an awkward sentence.

Going to West Virginia this weekend.

Happy Halloween internet!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Nonsense?

New enteries in "American Idioms of the 21st Century."

You just ran over the diaper.
To do something that results in embarassment and/or humility. Example:
Jack: "Dude, she's gonna find out that it's cubic zirconium."
Gorin: "Yeah, you totally ran over the diaper."

Green balls.
A boast; To spend money one does not have. Example:
"Me? I've got green balls. That dude over there, he's the one with the money to pay the strippers. Let's get lap dances!'

Scattering needles.
To shake one's head, or to scratch one's head, resulting in dislodging hair; an unconscious result of anxiety or anger. This activity usually follows a bad experience. Example:
"Stop scattering needles on the poker table, cockass."

Wasayo, Blasting the wasayo.
To experience an orgasm from the male perspective. Wasayo is an abbreviation for Wasabi mayonaise. Example:
"I'm sorry, I blasted the wasayo too soon. Wait, don't go."

Dennie Greening.
To lose one's temper after a humiliating experience. Example:
Jerry: "How could you let them kick my ass? We could have gotten them if you hadn't just stood there laughing at me! They were nothing! They were who we thought they were!"
Gus: "Stop Dennie Greening, bitch.

Schtucking the kugel.
To meet with a jewish family of the jewess one is dating. Usually applies to a gentile dating a jewish individual. Example:
"Sorry, can't make it to the show. I'm stuck schtucking the kugel Saturday."

Spitting on the fender.
An exciting prelude to sexual activity, occurring en route to the bedroom, usually hours before coitus. Example:
"We were spitting on the fender at the diner. I couldn't wait to get her home."

Monday, October 23, 2006

Bachelor Party

Soper's bachelor party was interesting...strip club, porn, etc etc etc. The only thing to note is that a strip club is designed to spend a lot of money. Wow.

Quick hit thoughts:
  • World Series tied 1-1...when did the Gambler become a good pitcher?
  • Football...the week I don't start Vick, he goes and throws 4 TD's. What the crap.
  • High Enders...apparently there are people who say a statement in a question form (higher voice at the end). Is this annoying?
  • Jumping Jacks: I need to lose some weight. Pizza is good.
  • Shout out to Namkang...baltimore Korean restaurant. Excellent.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Tenacious D

The next two months will be devoted to those Satan-worshipping mega-rock-outers TENACIOUS D. First off, November 17, the Tenacious D movie "Pick of Destiny" opens in theatres nationwide. From the preview, the plotline seems to be a backstory of the band and their quest to discover the pick of destiny, some magical item that makes non-stop rockin' possible. Check out the teaser preview to see the D performing to Bach. Heck, you've got one time UCB star Amy Poehler and movie man Tim Robbins endorsing the new movie in this clip for the ladies (highly recommended).

Additionally, with the prospect of a looming live viewing of JB and kage December 4th, here's a listing of great YouTube Tenacious D clips.
  • Did you know that Dave Grohl, from Nirvana and Foo Fighter fame, played drums for the D's album? View him performing live with Tenacious D on a live performance of "Tribute."
  • The original television clip of "Tribute" from the HBO Tenacious D show. Alternate lyrics and song structure aping "Stairway to Heaven." Interesting notes: I did not know that Tenacious D first started on Mr. Show, and the show was produced by Bob Odenkirk and David Cross.
  • Souvenir satan picks! "Explosivo" on the Tenacious D show. The MC who introduces the band is Mr. Show regular Paul F. Thompkins.
  • Great skit involving a spelling bee on SNL. The D's song at the end is decent, but the execution of the main joke (business) is an interesting utilization of dead-pan absurdity.
  • Funny commercial for the album. Note to home viewers, plastic is a bad absorbant.
  • Andy Serkis, the voice of Gollum in the Lord of the Rings, sings a song from Grease with the D in this bad concert footage of a hilarious live moment.
  • Will the Time Goblin gobble up time? Will Abe Lincoln refuse to get shot in the head? This is a totes rad short commercial featuring Tenacious D as Time Fixers.
You know, making this little silly post, I realized that YouTube is a home of really crappy videos by people with no talent. Who the hell watches teenagers lipsynching to pop songs? Pedophilliac douche-bags...they are the reason why this is allowed. Google needs to develop a filter that removes reasons to hate music. This is the only one that I clicked on that inspired this portion of the post. Why'd I click? Because the tag line is "I never said I can sing" followed by a tongue sticking out emoticon. The cheekiness of it all...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The MNF Game


What can I add that Peter King doesn't point out in his Monday Morning Quarterback, Tuesday Edition? Heck, Dennis Green's raving post-game explosion best encapsulates the take home message of the MNF meltdown.
          • "The Bears are who we thought they were!" Dennis Green said, yelling at the top of his lungs and pounding on the podium at his postgame press conference. "Now, if you want to crown them, then crown [them]! But they are who [we] thought they were! And we let them off the hook!" Green then stormed away.

What's the big conclusion from the epic meltdown of the Cardinals to the Bears? The Arizona Cardinals are absolutely, irrevocably, irrefutably awful.

I'm one of the many who fell asleep, shocked that the Cardinals had a 20 pt lead over the ferocious, fantastic, freakin' unbeatable Bears. Imagine waking up to the ridiculous replays showing Rackers missing the game winning field goal. Before anyone decides that Rackers needs to get the Vanderjagt treatment, the important question that needs to be raked over the coals is "WHAT WERE THE CARDINALS DOING BEHIND IN THE FOURTH QUARTER?" Sure, the Bears are a "team of destiny," according to Lovie Smith, but really, the Cardinals lost the game more than the Bears won...that's the reason for Rex Grossman's shite-eating grin during his post-game interview.

What's the main thing that we can point to for the Cardinals' phantasmically disgusting loss: Offensive line play/ground game. This is the stat of the night for me: Edge running for 55 yards on 36(!) carries with one fumble lost. That's about one and a half yards per carry. That's so bad that it makes the last days of Eddie George look like Tiki Barber's productivity. Edgerrin James was a product of the Colts excellent O-line play, and we now see that he's sub-mediocre.



NOTES AND SUCH:
  • Someone, SOMEONE, has to be traded, kicked off, or sold for a ration of peanut butter from the Cardinals. Atone, for the football gods will not look kindly on this kind of choke.
  • How happy are the Bears for the BYE week? No emotional letdown game (poor 49ers, if their matchup with the Bears came on Week 7 instead of Week 8, I'd seriously think that they'd have a shot to take down Chicago).
  • Never blame a kicker if everyone else on the team failed.
  • Anytime a coach goes crazy, like Dennis Green, during an interview, it makes for compelling television.
  • EDGE sucks. Both the RB and the guitarist.
  • Interested journalistic spin: Yahoo! recap of the game, "Chicago's Thomas Jones managed just 39 yards in 11 carries." The Bears only ran 16 times the ENTIRE game. But still, Jones was averaging more than 3 yards a carry...compare that to James.
  • I'm still in shock over this game. Wow.

Monday, October 16, 2006

All Songs Considered

Just a quick note: if you haven't checked out NPR's Live Concert page, you're missing out.

Got the new Beck album. Good.

Fantasy Football

CHICAGO VS. ARIZONA, how it affects four matchups.

Commish’s Monday Morning QB (Yeah, I’m copying King, what of it?) - this article is for my fantasy football league. To check it out, click on this link. My team is called "Jackie Treehorn."

Before any controversy arises, let me spell out that the score change in the “I” team (Skora) is due to changes in his week 6 roster. Due to an emergency, the manager of the team could not review his roster, and after a phone conversation with me, I agreed to manage his roster. Just to make sure it isn’t unfair to the ephedrinators, the roster shown currently is the roster that would have been set if not for unforeseen circumstances. I hope you all understand this as an emergency situation, and not anything unseemly.

Now, onto Monday Night Football; has anyone been watching this season. For some reason, the move to ESPN, the lack of Madden, and the addition of Tony “Curmudgeon” Kornheiser has made for a lackluster product. First off, ESPN used to have the NFL Primetime on Sunday night, utilizing the Boomer says something in a funny voice with football highlights to make for an alright recap of the day’s events. Gone, now, is the Sunday Night Game, banished to NBC, and instead we have the Blitz folded into Sportscenter. What? Now I have to watch ESPN news to catch highlights of a few games rather than the comprehensive coverage that Sunday night on ESPN used to provide.

Second, as much as I complained about the sheer inanity that used to belch forth from the Hall of Fame coach/broadcaster/video game namesake, Madden was always entertaining. Who could forget his expert analysis using a telestrator to inform us that officials’ flags are weighted with unpopped popcorn seeds. Sure, Pat Summerall played a better foil, but Al Michaels is still a great play-by-play guy. What has ESPN done with the hallowed institution of MNF?

They inserted nothing new to the format, really, except for the three men and two women responsible to talk us through usually boring games. Mike Tirico, a responsible enough sort of chap, though completely uninterested in correctly spotting the ball. Tony Kornheiser, who has plenty of chutzpah but his patter isn’t loose enough. Its like listening to PTI light. The main reason for this dilution is the third male member of the broadcast booth, Mr. broken leg himself, Joe Theismann. Joe seems to think he possesses a formidable football IQ, and loves to lord it over the team. Joe likes to make small snide swipes at Kornheiser, growling responses to Kornheiser jokes, hardly masking his contempt. Instead of the comforting presence of a barely coherent Madden, we are given a bland black guy, a satirical journalist with no bite, and an ex-jock who still thinks he’s the shit. Thus, MNF, the show, sucks. Too bad, too, cause Suzy Kolber is a sideline reporter, and if Namath wanted some lip-locking with her that badly, then she must be a terrific snog.

Anyway, why write about MNF? Because of the implication of the game tonight on four matchups in our league:

1. THE MADAM'S ORGAN (Boldin, WR) vs BIG HAIR (Gould, K) = this is an open and shut case, right? ORGAN has a WR going with an 11+ pt lead. Well, take a look at the possibility of the Bears DEF shutting down Arizona's passing attack, seeing as how they haven't allowed a team to pass for more than 200 yds (stopping vaunted aerial assaults from Seattle, Green Bay, and Detroit) while totally dismantling the Bills last week (87 yds passing, 3 sacks, 3 INT). How have number 1 receivers fared against the Bears? Average: 6 receptions, 70 yards, .2 TD. Most of the yards coming in frantic passing attempts after the Bears compiled insurmountable leads. But still, Boldin is expected to get about 9 pts, right...that's a 20 pts lead. Well, here's the rub, Gould is the NFL's leading kicker. That's right. Last week, Gould scored 19 pts. He's yet to miss a kick. 3 in the 20 range, 6 from 30, and a whopping 8/8 from 40+. Arizona is a kicker friendly field. Additionally, against the Cardinals, Atlanta kickers got 6 field goal attempts ranging up to a 50+ attempt, plus 3 XPA. So, if the Bears can hold Boldin, Gould just could be the kicker to get Shaw a W. MY GUESS: MADAM'S ORGAN...for all my talk and stat analysis, I'd still trust a position player more than a kicker.

2. CHI-TOWN PREP (Muhammad, WR) vs. The Crying Continues (T.Jones, RB) = a 2+ pt lead for Crying, with the Bears featured back running for him. Can Muhammad get some catches, and land in the endzone? Here's hoping for a Cardinals/Bears shootout in order for Muhammad to get his catches. MY GUESS = CRYING CONTINUES, because the Bears are going to want to control the ball, giving less time to the Cardinals to air it out. Look for Thomas Jones to get 25 carries.

3. CHICAGO PATRIOTS (E. James, RB) vs. PILKINGTON'S REVENGE = with a 3+ pt lead going into the game, PILKINGTON is hoping that Edge isn't a factor. If James can torch the might Bears for forty yard, then the Patriots squeek out with the win. MY GUESS = PATRIOTS, because there's so many outs. Edge can carry the ball 12 times, gain 30 yards, and get one little outside flat reception for 12 yards, and there you go. Sure, he may not be a major factor in the game, but with such a small cushion, the Cardinals feature back is a good bet to get at least 4 pts (yahoo projects 9.68 pts).

HOOTIE McBOOB (Bears DEF) vs D&D DOMINATORS (Grossman, QB) = 6+ pt lead for Hootie, both the Bears D and Grossman projected about the same (13+pts). So do we just give it to Bill, who has the 6pt cushion. I don't think so. The Bears DEF has been averaging 27 points in our league...ranging from 14-41 points. Grossman's been averaging about 20 pts a game, ranging from 10.8 to 34.5. On average, Grossman has been good for about 14-18 points, but the outlying game, 34.5 pts versus the Lion's DEFENSE is intriguing only because the Lions are very similar to the Cardinals in makeup. Both have porous pass defenses and prolific pass offenses. My logic is this...the Bears may get involved in a shootout with the Cards. If so, we'll see Grossman unloosed, especially given his enjoyment of the long-ball to Berrian. If the Cards can get their two WRs to go crazy, then not only will the Bears D lose points, but Grossman will be compelled to throw. This matchup could be close. MY GUESS = Hootie gets the win because the Bears are just too good, and D&D will get their first loss when the pull Grossman for Griese late in the 3rd Quarter.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Built To Spill, October 10th 2006

Went to the 9:30 Club on Monday for a concert featuring Helvetia, Camper Van Beethoven, and Built to Spill. We left too late to check out the first band, but caught most of the Camper set. Sadly, they're not very good. Sound like a poor man's Wilco with an overtly obvious sense of humor. With lyrics that emphatically demonstrate their appreciation for hippy chicks and bowling, their music seemed to force a sort of indie humor that's way too "get it" to really be interesting (much like their punny band name). Additionally, they had one too many instrumental pieces that had absolutely no point. There was no build to a climax, no interesting viewpoint; rather, just a redux of dissonance mixed with a no-fi country kick. Sadly, the one song that ELV and I enjoyed, a poppy McCartney-sounding diddy, was a cover and featured la's that were not a part of the studio track.

Then came Built to Spill. If you haven't heard this band, then you don't listen to indie/college rock. Go to this link to read a review of their NYC show or to this link to listen to the NPR broadcast of THE show we attended in D.C.. The show featured a new twist compared to the show we attended a year and a half ago: a multimedia slideshow. Featuring simple and dreamy pictures, the band blew through track after track of tight, challenging rock songs. Doug Martsch, the lead singer, lead guitarist, lead writer...basically the band, writes excellent songs, and the execution of each song was flawless.

Great show, great band. Loved the cat video shown during "Broken Chairs."

Monday, October 09, 2006

The Decemberists: The Crane Wife


A song by song review as I listen to it...right now!!! (by the way, welcome back to the weary snow show-er)

The Decemberists - The Crane Wife

1. The Crane Wife 3: For an opener, its tight. Gentler than the Infanta. A rumbling folk song that's surprisingly concise and...the last 30 seconds feel like a Who song. The lead into the next track is great, very 70's prog rock.
2. The Island: Neat, very much like the Tain EP, broken up into three parts (Come and See/Landlord's Daughter/You'll Not Feel the Drowning), I'm surprised that the song isn't MORE preciously backward gazing. Geez, this is a long song. The first part where Meloy sings ("Come and See"), good, so far, no accordian...I'm getting some strong hints of R.E.M.. Right at the middle of the song, 6:13, no transition into The Landlord's Daughter...very much like ELP/prog rock stuff...wow, a cacaphony. Murder, intrigue...but the song is full and crisp. Neato...its like pirates finding a synthesizer on a rollicking sail through a proggy tidal wave...classical guitar and organ for the final part for last two minutes...very much an ole English folk song..."Go to sleep, little ugly...you'll not feel the drowning." As a whole, an intriguing second track. I'm exhausted now, though.
3. Yankee Bayonet (I Will Be Home Then): a poppy duet with someone named Laura Veirs. Yeah, poppy. Its a pretty little ditty. I have a feeling this song will annoy some of you like "Sporting Life" or "July, July."
4. O Valencia!: you know, remover the curious stories behind the lyrics, and Maloy's vocal affectations, and alot of the songs are just pop ditties; this song is something out of Morrissey's solo discography. Yawn.
5. The Perfect Crime #2: Yeah...this is something new. Funky, a different bounce and feel...almost a baroque disco...Ok, I've got it, this song is a mixture of everything going on with rock music right now, executed by the Decemberists. You've got the Killers/NY sound mixed with the Brazilian Girls/Scissor Sisters dance music getting all mashed up with Maloy giving a surprisingly energy-less delivery. Sounds almost weary. I'm intrigued.
6. When the War Came: huh, its like a Tool/Perfect Circle sound...I don't know if I can take anymore of this album...I've been more of a fan of the "Eli the Barrowboy" or "Red Right Ankle" perfections, and this is like Tool mixed with U2. I don't like this song. I know some people who would love this song. I'm fast forwarding.
7. Shankill Butcher: soft, like a hot towel for my face after getting slapped around by track 6. Like a track from Her Majesty. Yup, standard Decemberists song. Like a familiar friend.
8. Summersong: Huh? Is this Edie Brickell? What's that song? "What I am is what you are is what I am..." HAHAHAHA, it is that song, except not! This sucks! What a crappy song.
9. The Crane Wife 1&2: Another 11 minute song. Sigh. Wait...ok, here we are, half way through, in the first part of the song, and this is a great song. The jerky delivery of Maloy's voice has been toned down. This song is great. The buildup is worth it. Again, almost exactly half way through (5:40) different song, softer...didn't like the transition...kind of slow after a great buildup in part 1...the end of part 2 is a nice Polyphonic Spree bit. Not bad.
10. Sons & Daughters: A decent little folk pop ditty. Not bad for a closer.
Extra Track: After the Bombs: A reprise.

Ok. After one listen...I can already tell that I don't like this as much as Picaresque, but for a major label debut, still appeals to the reason why you liked the Decemberists. On the whole, I think it is a stronger album, though I think the previous albums have had stronger individual songs. Neat to see them developing.

Grade: B+

(Going to Built To Spill tonight at 9:30 Club, yeehaw!)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The One Outer Limits

Here's a scene from the 1-2 No Limit table I was sitting.

I've got pocket aces. Preflop, I throw in a raise of 15 and get two callers. I've got the worst position, with the guy at the button having prime position. The flop comes 7-8-A with no flush possibility. I throw in a bet of 25, the next guy folds, and the button guy calls. The turn comes 8, at which point I throw in 60. Guy raises 60, at which I put him on an 8. I go all in at this point, another 160 dollars. He looks at me, says, "you've got pocket aces, don't you." I don't answer. He thinks of a long time, says, "I don't think you've got it, but even if you do, I've got outs."

Sure enough, he's got an 8. An 8-5 suited. Now get this.

He hits the one out-er...beating me with quad 8s.

There are many reasons why this bad beat plagues me. Did I not raise enough at the flop? Should I have raised more at the turn? Should I have folded aces-full...of course not. This is an example of a poor play by a worse players, but it confirms something I've been joking about for years: I've got horrible luck.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Bachelor Party Blues

Planning a bachelor party is tough.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Bad Luck Songs

Ok, after reading Kid W's comment, I have to write this blurb: There is a certain song that seems to precede bad luck/misfortunate events in my life. The song in question, I think its called "Amanda" by Lynyrd Skynyrd, has played on my car radio before two traffic stops, two car accidents, one breakup, one partial nervous breakdown, and one time that a bunch of people thought I had killed myself (which is a strange story for a long walkabout). The damn song curses me, and though I remain dilligent to avoid it, if I hear one pluck of the guitar string, something wicked this way comes.

*****

Black cats do not cause bad luck.
Numina haunt the romas.
Those people need dates too.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Time for some QUICK HITS

  • Went to the Ravens Chargers game Sunday. Such a spectacle, a pagentry of beer bellies, obnoxious behavior, and meat-laden grills, all in the parking lot. The game was fantastic, though sitting next to one of the handful of Charger fans was not quite kosher (happy Yom Kippur). Oh, and to the stupid drunk guy who was making fun of said Charger fan, just know that he's going to make a whole lot money than your white-trashy person will ever acquire.
  • The class divisions between poor and rich can be separated additionally into educated vs. uneducated. For you uneducated poor or rich people, stop voting.
  • Who doesn't like Built to Spill?
  • My fish have mouth fungus.
  • Standardchuck maxim of the day (#44, subcontext a): drinking at 9am is not acceptable ever.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Wire Season 3 Marathon

This past weekend, from Saturday noon to Sunday morning 2am, six souls gathered in the basement of an academic building to watch 12 episodes of one of the great American television shows. "The Wire," season three, pizza, cold medication, and chalkboard diagrams came together to create a perfect environment to view the brilliant HBO series.

For those of you unfamiliar with "The Wire," head over to HBO and read up...then WATCH IT. Granted, this is not a series for everyone. Deathly allergic of spoonfeeding information, the writers of this show (featuring a former Baltimore City detective, a Pulitzer Prize/Emmy Award winning creater, and several acclaimed crime fiction writers) create a dark, cynical world without clear moral boundaries and ever murky plotlines. The worlds of crime, police, and politics interconnect until you need a diagram to chart the progress of the story. This is not a show for the one and done procedural fans, as cases are not solved in the confines of a single episode; additionally, no case ever finishs up in the neat little bow that typifies network crime shows such as "Law and Order" or "CSI."

Enough platitudes, the viewing featured some notable of the Hopkins world, including ClimberDF and Nu-Gel KG. We had folks come down from NYC and Philly for the viewing, and I attended with an illness and a bottle of DayQuil. After a delayed start, caused by KG coming late from D.C. (no excuse offered), we watched the show. I took notes, but here's all I really need to say about the season:


  • A strong season: an excellent departure from season 2's focus on the dock workers, we return to the drug trade in the ghettos of Baltimore. A controversial plan by a Major in the Western Precinct, the hubris filled downfall of the drug kingpins from Season 1, and the evolution of several characters, most notably Prez and Freamon. The storylines were more labyrinthian than ever, with so many characters that it was hard to keep it all straight. However, to the credit of the writers and editors, the show never seemed too out of step. Sure, there were scenes where there were questions and head-scratching, but on the whole, a great story told in 12 parts.
  • This is the only way to watch the show: all in a row with fellow fans. This is like a 12 hour movie, and watching only one episode, waiting for a week for the continuation would drive me crazy.
  • The boys really liked any scene with McNulty, Bunk, Omar, and Brother Mouzone. Interesting points, the mentor/student relationship between Freamon and Prez, the surprise moment in the gay bar, and the redeeming journey of Cutty.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Augustus Gripe

Here's the post for the day (maybe even the week):
  • Got sick. Wasn't ELV's fault, though you could smack the blame on those nasty cold bugs congregating in her system, ready for some new converts with every cute cough from the blonde bombshell. My immune system never had a chance.
  • Saw the Illusionist last week or so, great flick. See it. Ed Norton gives a technically complex acting performance, but Paul Giamatti steals the show with another one of his gifted everyman portrayals. Great movie, 5 standardchuck arcade tokens UP!
  • My mail delivery woman has been late getting me the new issues of EW and SI. I think that she's reading them, keeping them, tainting them with her non-paying eyes. What do I do?
  • TCM is doing a great Short film presentation all day today. If you get a chance view some of them...luckily, I'm catching some excellent Charlie Chaplin silent shorts, and they've promised some Buster Keaton shorts in about an hour.
  • There's so much more to type but NyQuil is kicking in. Goodnight.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Picture Post

Jeff Head sez "intensely, enjoy these pics!"


Chicago theatre facade: did you know that the city of Chicago has something like 800,000 theatres and performing groups? That's like 1/4 of a theatre for each citizen of Chicago (facts verified never).

My host in Chicago, Kid W, doing what we did during the trip. Even when he's in his boxers, he's still fashionably color coordinated.

Near the big fountain (you know, the one that was featured in the "Married with Children" opening), there was this park with statues. The flowers are for ELV.

The egg/doughnut shiny thing in Millenium Park. I waited for 20 minutes, hoping to get a clear shot of me shooting the thing, but the people were transfixed. The couple featured in the center of the picture stood there for like 5 minutes, moving around, fascinated that their distorted reflections seemed to follow their movements perfectly.


Millenium park again. The smiling face of the great leader benevolently peers over the soaked children.


On one of the avenues, they had these statues of indians on horseback. It was such a hot day, I caught a bit of shade from the towering statues. The horse has full male genitalia. I have pictures.


Near the Daly building made famous in Blues Brothers. Thought that the picture was neat.


Baltimore, this morning. Can you believe I have this right in front of my place?

More to come, undoubtedly. But, before I jet, the Steelers sure didn't seem to miss Roethlisbuaeroihar. Willie Parker and Miller, I should have picked them in fantasy.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The Tourists

There is something truly satisfying being in a strange place, experiencing a locale that is out of the ordinary. This explains the popularity of travel, especially the type of travel engaged by world-minded optimistic people who hit forsaken lands in search of the native (primative) landscape, people, and cheap goods. We've all had the friend who having travelled to such exotic locales like England must reiterate how different everything is across the sea. "I can't believe they ate that kind of food. It was so foreign." And by foreign, she means alien, weird, gross, something to scoff at while drinking her Applebee margarita bowl with her friends. Before you think I'm being to high handed with ole Ramblin' Rose, just know that I do the same thing, and I still think french people are rude and their coffee is just so foreign.

However, this is not the point of this entry. There's a different type of tourism that happens, right here in your city, town, burb, or trailor park. We, as humans, are also tourists in our own habitats, especially for urbanites who have access to entirely different neighborhoods with varying degrees of socio-economic statuses (or is that stati?). For instance, take Baltimore: I live in Bolton Hill, 4 minutes north of downtown, and around my eclectic neighborhood's mix of art students, urban professionals, and government housing projectionists, we've got several different types of areas. Head west and you're entering the locales made famous in "Homicide" and "the Wire." Head east, and you're in historic rowhouses that are now law offices, Subways, and trendy chic storefronts. Head south, you've got MLK and then the start of the downtown ghetto. Head north, and eventually you'll get near Hampden (white blue collars), Charles Village (domain of Hopkins), Remington (crusty white blue collars), and those types of lands (ie mo' money). Now, I've only gone east to go to my post office, surrounded by an area that reminds me of some crapy commercial areas found in "Falling Down" Los Angelas. I don't drive through those areas with spiritual ease. In fact, its akin to a wild ride, something out of the ordinary, a jaunt into the hood.

Back during the Greensboro years, Vini and I got into my beat up car at midnight and drove through the "projects" of downtown Greensboro. We had the doors locked tight, windows up, giggling like boys breaking curfew as we bopped around, scoping for pimps, dealers, hustlers, and murderers, who just had to be around. Nothing. A trip of futility in our sightseeing adventure. We were touring a neighborhood, not a mile away from our college campus, hoping to spot some Boyz in the Hood scenes.

Likewise, another story: I drove through an area in Baltimore called Pigtown. An ethnic white neighborhood known for some positives and alot of negatives, namely organized crime and drug trade. My friends and I went to an illegal poker room in that part of town. As much as the poker seemed like fun, I was a bit more interested in viewing Pigtown, a land of seedy lore. Hearing stories of gangster and russian mafia, I expected to see the streets lined with Billies in their white trash muscle cars eyeballing police as well as dapper russian/polish gangsters with plump bellies and colorful monikers such as the Nose. Though not as seedy as my imagination desired, we were greeted by a bouncer at the door, who had to get confirmation that my buddy was alright to vouch for us to come in. The guy who ran the place was large and in charge, his smoker's cough and accent-tinged voice filled the room. His family made food for the hungry gamblers. The guys around the place had the nicknames. Quickly losing my money, I soaked up the atmosphere, marveling at this little slice of underground while at the same time knowing that I was gawking in the worst way, a snot nosed civilian looking around like he's just got off the Disney Monorail, snapping pictures for the folks at home. I wasn't of that place and so I was a merry tourist.

People tour old houses, museums, parks, and burnt out forts. They go by those so-called institutions, such as Baltimore's "Hon" (boring suck-face food) or Philly's Geno's (I guess its good, but then again, other than the bread, I could very, very, very, very easily make that sandwich at home). People head over to new houses of friends, to tour the digs. We drive past a nice neighborhood, or see a pretty house, and we tell our significant others that we think the stone facade is really rad. People also tour places that are bad, nasty, decrepid areas in their own town. Its because of two things: 1> genuine curiousity, especially anything deemed morally distasteful (ie pertaining to sex or violence, for case in point watch the crowds cluster for a murder victim in the west side of Baltimore) and, more importantly, 2> to remind ourselves that we are not there/from there, and allow us to compare our own lots in life. We see something we want, we envy. We want the nice shrubbery like that castle-esque house on Elm. We want to have a place that makes scrapple and waffles like this in our neighborhood (or better yet, we want to be the only person who knows about this particular hole in the wall breakfast joint, just for the satisfaction of introducing people to such an incredible place). We want...but at the same time, nothing makes you feel better than seeing other people's misery. This is not a new assumption or theory. Its old as dirt and still quite trendy.

We want to see the misery, the poverty, the primitive, the undeveloped (or nature), the destitute (or those who don't have enough money to spend it on booze, hookers, or cable), the hopheads, the crackfiends, and the single mothers carrying around their babies, asking to bum a smoke. We want it so that, deep in our little heart of hearts, we can feel good about ourselves, making our 35,000 annual, living in a nice apartment, with our x-boxes and trader joes. We want to see the shit to know that we're floating on the surface, looking down.

So, here's the last part...instead of using your vacation time to go to some beach where you'll just be tired when you get back, use your time off to go out and see the slums, the poor trailer parks, those cramp derelict apartments, those government projects named for longtime civil servants, and just let yourself be honest: it feels good to see those schmucks suffering a bit more than you. You're doing alright for yourself. Right on.

Then take a nap, eat some food, and voila, you've got the perfect vacation stories, "we went to the Stop, Shop, and Save, and all the food in there was processed. It was so cheap. It was amazing how foreign it all was. I totally bought a can of something called hominy for a souvenir."

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Labor

Blah blah blah.

Just finished "Homicide" by the creator of the Wire. An excellent read, especially for fans. You can see a lot of the genesis of Wire characters in this book about spending a year observing Homicide detectives in Baltimore City.

I've got a beat on this one deal that could be a bountiful net gain on my little sports collectibles venture.

ELV's cat is crazy. But, like my pal the Ruskijew, she scares easily and thus is a fun animal to play sneak upon.

Allergies are just around the corner, folks.

FSU beats Miami, and I am happy as a clam.

Over and out.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Who the heck is reading this?

1200 views. Wow. Sure, I've used up quite a few trying to spot typos on these silly rants, but 1200 views? Of this drivel? I am just shocked.

Just a quick one here, anyone watching Project Runway? Anyone else really happy that Angela got kicked off the show? Her idea that rosettes look good on anything, and that linen really travels well, reiterate how fashion theory broadening this show is. I wouldn't know the difference between a seersucker and a grilled cheese if it hadn't been for Bravo's compelling reality show. Believe the hype, this is excellent television. A true meritocracy.

Who are you people? Now don't you feel cheated to have found this site and had to read this crap?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

why

How often do you see this? 4 am, walking out of your place to take a break, when you step out of the front door, you see a blaze going in the gutter, next to a car's tire. A youth stalking away, a bundle of newspapers in his hands, turns to look at us, then after a pause, turns back to the burning papers, lifts it up, and carries it about 20 feet away, dropping it on the sidewalk as it blazes furiously. Friendly neighborhood pyromaniac roaming the streets, while a chain smoking asian watches in disbelief; guilty pyros move their burning effigies. In the middle of the street, another man, cracked out beyond belief, sways with the breeze. Seeing the flames, he stumbles a few steps toward us, then putters to a stop. Surely it isn't so out of the ordinary to have to bother with locomotion. He lifts his foot, narrowly missing a street rat scuttering across, busy night.

It is terribly hot at night in this old house. There are no windows that can open up to the night breezes, which around 4 in the morning are nice, with less humidity, and thus a crispness that's delightful on the skin. However, around 7, the air begins to warm up, ramping up until too bright sunshine 9, a terrible time while waiting for the imbecile in front of you to change lanes...on the exit lane...when punching your steering wheel makes you sweat just a little more. Thank god for air conditioning, that and the convenience of coffee car cups and commercial free radio beamed down from the heavens. Sure, you are trapped, confined, wrapped up inside a fiberglass shell, while that damned sun beats down on you, the only air unnaturally cold against your damp work shirt. It gets so that you can't breathe.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Fantasy Football Watch!

So, every year, there are certain players that really grabs a fantasy football player's imagination, captivating us with their reported prodigious talent and inviting us to dream about the league championship that these perceived studs will garner for us. A few years ago, I held onto Donte Stallworth, drafting him way too early in 2003 for a measly 485 yds and 3 TDs (who, incidentally, is going to have a great year if his trade to the Eagles doesn't get Suggs-ified). Last year, I got the bright idea to draft Ashley Lelie, expecting him to surpass his disappointing 2003, and sure enough, he pulls out 1000+ yards and a nice 7 TDs, which is not bad for a mid-round WR.

In a game of luck, where any given Sunday can result in two touchdowns for the freakin' fullback, the fun really lies in playing your hunches. Not only does it draw you into the game (who doesn't love cheering on their sleeper candidate. The Ron Dayne fans unite!), but also there can be huge value in playing your crazy breakout possibilities in the fantasy battle. For instance, if you predicted that Larry Johnson would be such a hoss for the last 8 games, or that Carson was going to blow up; or how about digging deeper, that Plaxico, Jurevicius, or T.J. Houshmanza-whatever would be in the top 75 in fantasy scoring, then you probably finished better than I did.

So, in light of the value of the mid to late round sleeper in fantasy, here is an unordered list of players that I'm really high on for an excellent 2006:
  • Drew Bennett, WR (Titans): This receiver, in a contract year, loves getting the ball from Billy Volek. With average speed compensated with plus movement and great hands, he's going to have a career year. I'm expecting 1000+ yards and probably 8 TDs.
  • Braylon Edwards, WR (Browns): Here's a guy who posted 512 yards, missing the last 4 games, and having 4 games with two or less catches. With those pathetic Browns QBs last year, he still had four solid games, including 2 TD in his last game of the season in week 13. This guy is going to be Charlie Frye's favorite weapon.
  • Byron Leftwich, QB (Jaquars): If he can stay healthy, this guy is going to be in the top 5 QBs list. He's got mobility, accuracy, and throwing strength that is just scary good. However, if he goes down, look out for David Garrard.
  • Matt Jones and Ernest Wilford, WR (Jaguars): These guys are going to be the recipients of the accession of Byron Leftwich.
  • Julius Jones, RB (Cowboys): Why is this guy a sleeper? Because you can usually get him in the third round while lesser backs will be snatched up. This guy is in a Parcells offense, and even if T.O. gets his head out of his arse, Jones is going to snag a bunch of yards and probably 2-3 TD opportunities each game. In his third year, which is the year that most elite RB's make their presence known, he's going to be the main back who will enjoy the relaxed middle of the field due to the improved line and the presence of two top WRs in big D.
  • Ashley Lelie, WR (Falcons): Why do I do it to myself every year? Lelie, who has plus skills in everything he does, seems to underachieve, even counting his decent 2005. Here's the reason he's on the list - he's going to be available in the late rounds, he's got a QB with something to prove passing (Vick, who I got in the 11th round!), and he's just too talented to be sub-1000 yards and 7 TD's. He's worth a fly in the late rounds. Really. He'll do something.
  • Chester Taylor, RB (Vikings): Why is Peter King so into this guy? Here's the reasons: he comes from the Ravens, where previous draftees include Priest Holmes and Jamal Lewis; he's a career backup, so he's fresh; he's got a monster of a line in Minnesota; he's going to be the feature back in a lineup that is going to be run heavy. Look out for this guy, a sure 80+ yards a game, 1 TD each, a monster of guy who's ready to shine. A value in the mid-rounds.
  • Randy McMichael, TE (Dolphins): He's going to be to Culpepper what any Vikings TE is, a sure thing.
  • Alex Smith, TE (Bucs): Chris Simms is going to have a hard time there, and Smith is going to be his security blanket.
  • Brandon Jacobs, RB (Giants): He's a definite draftee for anyone taking Tiki, but here's why he may be a valuable player...TIKI DOESN'T WANT THE CARRIES! Since Tiki has publicly lobbied for less carries, someone has gotta take it. However, here's the logic: Tiki is a team player who cares about the win-loss column of the Giants (a fierce loyalist to the team), he wouldn't do this without faith in his co-runners. Jacobs has shown guts in his few runs during his rookie campaign, averaging 2.6 yards per carry, but he picked up 7 TD's in only 38 carries. Not just a goal-line hawk, he's going to get plenty of more opportunities to shine in the Giants offense. I'm hoping he learns to catch so that he can become a Edge like tool for young Mr. Manning.
These guys have promise, just as, well, anyone coming into 2006. Keep your eyes peeled, though, since there's going to be that surprise guy out there that just explodes. Of the contract year guys, the only one I'm really interested in is T.J. Duckett. He's going to try to shine in the overloaded Redskins backfield, but he's wanting the money, and if Portis' injury is more severe that currently being speculated, then T.J. is going to have to earn the money. Also, the griping factor may come into play, thus making the possibility for an ugly, Lavar Arrington situation to occur, driving Skins fans batty and thus making me happy.

That's all for now. Happy drafting.