Eater's Regret

I don't think that it's a coincidence that I'm constantly writing about food and gaining weight. To testify for my ballooning waist, take for instance my habits tonight. Morning, breakfast of eggs, fake-con, and half a bagel. Lunch, a plate of farfalle and a roasted chicken breast in organic tomato sauce...leading to dinner of 7 - 11 hotdogs, slathered with chili and cheese-type inorganic goo. Granted, I did have a few libations, mixed with grandma's departure and massive studying (do doctors really need to know about Planck's constant? Those pretty people on Grey's Anatomy never discuss the behavior of electrons in a magnetic field...MCATs are full of shite). Still, have you had Sleven hotdogs? There's something very similar to the feeling after eating those crap sticks compared to the moment before a very serious, unpleasant meeting...sweat beads, heart palpitations, trouble breathing, and B.O.. Oh well, at least you don't have to sleep next to me tonight. Pffffffffffffff...as James Joyce would elegantly crafty...followed with some dookie time.

This moment of potty humor sponsored in part by Charmin brand Disintegration roll..."We leave some behind!"...Cha-cha-cha-CHARMIN!