SNAPE SAYS*****SPOILER ALERT*****
The penultimate battle between good and evil will take place, just as dear Rowow-rowow (a pet name for J.K.) has been planning all along. The theories rage on right now about the prophesy, who will die (Potter or Neville), and where the hidden horcrux lie. Well, here's the answer. The final horcrux is a snitch, meaning that the final battle will be a battle between Harry and Voldemort in a game of Quidditch! What a masterstroke! The two main characters battling out as seekers, their minion (Hogwarts on the Potter side, the Deatheaters manning Voldemort's side) working in awe, feeling the pressure of momentous event. Now, I won't spoil it all for you on who wins the Quidditch Cup O' World Domination, but here's a little more info for those of you who need to know.
HARRY LOSES! At the last minute, using a pop culture reference most of us over the age of 12 can figure out, Harry loses his hand, dropping the snitch right into Voldemort's awaiting palm. Voldemort reigns in the land, and the Deatheaters begin rejoicing by killing a few of the Hogwarts faithful (including two doomed love birds, locked in an embrace, Ron and Hermione). Harry escapes with a shocked Ginny and they skate off, losing several pursuing followers of Voldemort.
One final twist to this depressing ending dear reader. The last chapter, the one written by Just Kidding (another name...but not as popular to my palate as "poopsie") before she started this whole series, is the killer ending. Voldemort has gone through Hogwarts, killing all those who followed Dumbledore. As he reaches the final tower, where a souced Trelawney awaits, semi-conscious, a prophecy rings out: "The reign of Voldemort, though long and bloody, will be ended by the child born of the fallen chosen one. Though the fallen one will turn to the dark side, his son will end the rule of the Dark Lord." Voldemort, furious and frightened, sends Trelawney to her bloody end, but the words continue: "He Who Will Destroy Him Who Is Not Named will rise in a year. Numbered are the Dark Lord's days." Voldemort looks down to see, not the famed seer, but Trevor the Toad.
Thus ends the saga...or does it? Do you really think Rowling would give up this cash cow?
The world of Harry Potter is about to become very different from popular belief. First of all, similar but entirely different from the published Reuters report, not only 2 major characters will die. Here's the short list of those who are scheduled to meet their maker: Dean, the Patel sisters, Dobby, Winky, Seamus, Shacklebolt, the owner of the Leaky Cauldron, MacNair, Petey Jaramusch (an important unnamed character), Sal the Stockbroker, Jambalaya Jim (the mysterious holder of one of the hidden horcrux, and Professor Grubbly-Plank. That's right, all these major characters go croak...but there's a twist! They're all killed by one wizard! Who will it be? If you guessed Snape, you're correct. Turns out that he isn't good or evil, but rather a vengeful djinn, who finally ends his bloody dervish when Cho Chang finds his lamp, rubs it just right, and is granted three wishes. However, before she can utter a single wish, a bizarre turn of events renders Cho mute and the Snape djinn impotent.
The penultimate battle between good and evil will take place, just as dear Rowow-rowow (a pet name for J.K.) has been planning all along. The theories rage on right now about the prophesy, who will die (Potter or Neville), and where the hidden horcrux lie. Well, here's the answer. The final horcrux is a snitch, meaning that the final battle will be a battle between Harry and Voldemort in a game of Quidditch! What a masterstroke! The two main characters battling out as seekers, their minion (Hogwarts on the Potter side, the Deatheaters manning Voldemort's side) working in awe, feeling the pressure of momentous event. Now, I won't spoil it all for you on who wins the Quidditch Cup O' World Domination, but here's a little more info for those of you who need to know.
HARRY LOSES! At the last minute, using a pop culture reference most of us over the age of 12 can figure out, Harry loses his hand, dropping the snitch right into Voldemort's awaiting palm. Voldemort reigns in the land, and the Deatheaters begin rejoicing by killing a few of the Hogwarts faithful (including two doomed love birds, locked in an embrace, Ron and Hermione). Harry escapes with a shocked Ginny and they skate off, losing several pursuing followers of Voldemort.
One final twist to this depressing ending dear reader. The last chapter, the one written by Just Kidding (another name...but not as popular to my palate as "poopsie") before she started this whole series, is the killer ending. Voldemort has gone through Hogwarts, killing all those who followed Dumbledore. As he reaches the final tower, where a souced Trelawney awaits, semi-conscious, a prophecy rings out: "The reign of Voldemort, though long and bloody, will be ended by the child born of the fallen chosen one. Though the fallen one will turn to the dark side, his son will end the rule of the Dark Lord." Voldemort, furious and frightened, sends Trelawney to her bloody end, but the words continue: "He Who Will Destroy Him Who Is Not Named will rise in a year. Numbered are the Dark Lord's days." Voldemort looks down to see, not the famed seer, but Trevor the Toad.
Thus ends the saga...or does it? Do you really think Rowling would give up this cash cow?
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