The World Cup is here! Come on, America, let's get excited! According to many writers in the our esteemed magazines and newspapers, we Americans are missing out on the most exciting event that rages through the imaginations of everyone else in the world. How dare we, in our insulated ways, ignore the beautiful game, thus shutting ourselves away from the pasttime of billions of other people.
There are a myriad of reasons why America will not become rabid for "football." From the lack of soccer's presence in the US sports world historically (see the failure of North American Soccer League or the continuous losses harvested by the MLS) to the strength of the US's big three sports (MLB, NBA, and the NFL), Americans can point out several reasons why we don't really care about the World Cup. However, one primary reason why soccer doesn't have a chance in the US is because of the game itself. Though interesting and intriguing (and never doubting the athleticism of those who play/love the sport), the low scoring in the sport and the existence of the draw will always prevent soccer from becoming more than a minor distraction in our parts across the pond.
Soccer is played by 11 individuals on a 110 yard field. Excepting the goalkeeper, the 10 individuals run for 90+ minutes attempting to score goals. During the course of the game, excellent plays involving intricate passing, awe-inspiring dribbling, and exhilarating goal scoring keep people around the world transfixed and enthralled. Yet, there are also long lulls between action, forcing the American sports fan to reflect upon the mired action of the pre-strike NHL or the pre-juiced MLB bore fests during the 1980's. Midfielders in soccer passing back and forth for 10 minute stretches, with the occasional shots flying 40 feet above the top bar. The lack of sustained action, especially for us American action junkies, will always keep us away from the game. How do you expect the land infatuated with 24 access to news, reality shows editting down the inanity of a celebrity's day to 30 brain scattering minutes, and ADD-ESPN, to get interested into a game where a great game is settled 1-0 with a total of 3 shots on goal?
Additionally, the big named players, your Ronaldino, Zidane, or Beckham, don't score every game. Can you imagine paying NFL prices for a ticket and watching a whole match where the star player touches the ball a handful of times, passing it every time? Landon Donovan, the USA's great striker, had one run during the USA-Czech match, resulting in a foul from a defender. End result, nothing. Sure, Shaq can have a 5 point game in the Finals, and Albert Pujols can have a 0 for 4 at bat game in the World Series, but you won't see that happening for more than five or six games. However, Donovan hadn't scored in 10+ international games. The nature of soccer commends the player who can send an excellent through ball, or a superb crossing pass. America makes superstars of the guys who excel at the individual level. Who's better known: the Detroit Pistons gang of 5 maulers, or Lebron James and his insane dunks? We need action from the superstars.
However, the largest drawback is the existence of the draw. All the major sports in the US have an end result crowning a winner and a loser. Sports with ties have be relegated to ESPN8 (the ocho). Who cares about track and field, eh? Imagine watching 2 45-minute halves and leaving with a 0-0 draw. Sure, the finals of the World Cup are decided by penalty kicks, but that's the same way hockey decides its games. What's the interest level of the NHL in the non-Canadian USA? I remember the 0-0 tie ending of the Italy/Brazil finals in the World Cup, feeling like I just wasted a bunch of time watching sloppy soccer. How dull and frustrating...no wonder soccer fans have to become raving drunks, spouting racial epithets. Without the mob violence, what would fans of football do? Crochet?
We Americans need an end result where someone wins. We're a nation of winners, or at least a nation who appreciates those who win. Babe Ruth hitting the homerun after pointing to the stands. Hank Aaron blasting homeruns, rounding the bases with ecstatic fans. Wilt Chamberlin scoring, and making baskets, to colossal proportions. The Immaculate Reception. The Hail Mary. The full court heave. The grand slam. Winners score and score often. Great teams win.
Sorry, soccer fiends. Enjoy it. Be proud...but we're gonna just watch the NBA finals and wait for the start of America's football.
2 comments:
I think you're right about why it won't catch on big here. And I think I have a good theory about why the U.S.A. won't ever be a top tier team. The first reason is that soccer will never catch on big here. Being a soccer superstar will never be the biggest dream of the majority of our youngsters. The second, related factor is that inner city kids, who often end up being our best athletes, don't play soccer to pass time. They play Basketball. So, while poor Brazilian kids kill time by playing barefoot on jagged cobblestone using rolled up socks as a ball, becoming so good with their feet that soccer skills become second-nature, poor American kids are dribbling the basketball and developing ball handling and shooting skills as a second nature. And in suburbia American football reigns supreme, with basketball and baseball following close behind.
Another thing I just realized yesterday: soccer in American high schools and colleges is largely the domain of small guys. Big guys who are good athletes play football and basketball. As a result, our national team is tiny and always will be (unless soccer catches on big here, which it won't). Watching yesterdays match against the Czechs, we were clearly physically outmatched. We've got scrappy speedsters, but no bruisers a la Koller. I can't think of any other international competition where our side looks physically feeble relative to a foreign team.
But I love soccer. Brazil this afternoon, baby!
"How do you expect the land infatuated with 24 access to news, reality shows editting down the inanity of a celebrity's day to 30 brain scattering minutes, and ADD-ESPN, to get interested into a game where a great game is settled 1-0 with a total of 3 shots on goal?"
Well, to be fair, England has 24-hour news, and they more or less invented reality TV as we know it (Big Brother, Pop Idol, as examples), but they seem to be fine with soccer. Then again, they don't have hockey or American football.
Maybe a country only has room for one low-scoring game in its arsenal of national pastimes, and we already have hockey, which moves faster and has the right amount of violence to get us through until American football season starts again ...
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