First off, some comments after seeing the flick "Shoot 'Em Up" which features Clive Owen making a Clive Owen reluctant hero flick (seriously, this guy is going to be the next Humphery Bogart, except with a better trigger finger), Paul Giamatti rightfully cashing in on his exasperated routine, and Monica Bellucci being Monica Bellucci (go down the checklist: temperamental, check...foreign, check...sexy like a slutty satin coated with non-virginal olive oil, oh my goodness check).
OK, the review. It is a fun popcorn movie. If you like action films with inventive ways of shooting villains, you'll love this movie. If you love the idea of a gunfight during a sex scene, this is the movie for you. If you require a tight plot, a grounded reality in ballistics and physics, or
a serious treatise on the violent nature of our American society, then this is not the movie for you.Some thoughts from this movie:
- ELV thoughts that this movie was an exercise in teenage boy excess, which is war rented given the amount of inventive gun play. However, there's a reason why this was a smooth movie...I'm imagining the screenwriter and director must have storyboarded the heck out of it.
- My opinion, the audience is represented by the Monica Bellucci characters. We're all reticent to trust the heroic loner at first, but then we fall under his grim, carrot-eating spell. As movie watchers, we fall in love with the characters, with the (thin) plot line, and the situations. We swoon to the excitement generated by the movie. The kicker...what's a better symbol of the American audience than as a whore? We prostitute ourselves to any great, gun wielding, bad ass hero.
- How great is it to subvert sexual currency (shocking the puritanical ideals inside of us) in exchange for a bullet proof vest for a vulnerable baby?
- This movie didn't need a plot, nor did it really need back stories. Anytime we learned something new about Bellucci or Owen's characters, it just slowed the movie down. Unnecessary.
- I have never seen a skydiving gun fight. There needs to be more. The anti-thesis to the adrenaline filled skydive gun fight? The underwater gun fight in one of the Bond movies. Boring.
- Best moment of the movie, hands down: making the BMW driving prick run into the parked car. Seriously, this has to be one of the greatest things ever filmed for all of us who obey the rules of the road. More rich schmucks who drive expensive cars like drunken idiots need to be run into parked cars, light posts, and concrete barriers.
Go see this movie. You'll like it.
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Now, onto the news:
- Petraeus to appear before Congress today: Congress is going to ask pointed questions, Petraeus is going to offer some answers, but the real question, is the Iraq war going to end? stay the crappy course - Officials familiar with their thinking told The Associated Press over the weekend that the advisers will acknowledge disappointing progress in Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki's bid to achieve national reconciliation but would urge Congress to maintain the U.S. troop buildup to preserve local security gains. NPR reported this morning that current soldier tours at 18 months, and that there are many negative impacts to keeping the surge levels (mainly, running out of troops with record-low recruitment numbers). help a maliki out - Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki told lawmakers Monday that Iraqi forces were not ready to take over security from the U.S. military across the country. how much you want to bet that if the US pulled out, the only reasonable thing for Maliki to do would be to flee as fast as he can. I'm imagining a Vietnam-esque airlift out of Baghdad. reason why I'm voting for Biden - Biden said Petraeus' assessment missed the point. Biden said focusing on a political solution, such as by creating more local control, was the only way to foster national reconciliation among warring factions. "I really respect him, and I think he's dead flat wrong," Biden said. What a crotchety old man. I love how blunt he is...is this a character trait for Delawareans? (wait, I know some Delawarites, and they, sirs, are no Joe Bidens) we've got a coalition of the willing - Forty-seven percent of those surveyed in a poll conducted by ABC News, Britain's BBC, and Japan's public broadcaster NHK said they want American forces and their coalition allies to leave the country immediately. This was 12 percent more people than harbored those views in a March poll, just as the troop increase was beginning. And 57 percent — including nearly all Sunnis and half of Shiites — said they consider attacks on coalition forces acceptable, a slight increase over the past half year. the most frightening thing about this paragraph...57 percent believe it is OK to attack coalition forces. Get out of there!
- Ex-prime minister deported from Pakistan: can we do this to W? - Former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif returned to Pakistan from a seven-year exile on Monday, hoping to campaign against the country's U.S.-allied military ruler, but was immediately charged with corruption and deported to Saudi Arabia hours later. get a grip - Sharif's brother, Shahbaz Sharif, who stayed behind in London, said their party would challenge the deportation in court. "This will be counted as the blackest day in Pakistan's history," he said on Geo TV. "I do not have words to describe my grief." seriously...grief? The dude's in Saudi Arabia, living it up with the oil shahs. it wasn't like he was deported to Baltimore. proof that I'm an American - after reading half way, I mentally went "blah blah blah" and moved onto the next story.
- Craig blames press for his plea: is this story still going on? - Sen. Larry Craig should be allowed to withdraw his guilty plea in a sex sting because he was under extreme stress after being hounded by journalists asking questions about his sexuality, his lawyer argues. Wow, talk about feeling entitled. A guilty plea is a guilty plea. That's like saying you regret your decision to order a triple-triple at In-N-Out...if the triple-triple where an order of cock. i guess he did it stupidly - Martin said Monday that Craig did not "knowingly and intelligently enter a guilty plea." hmmm, so Craig is having doubts about our jurisprudence system. Just for fun, let's look at his voting record from ontheissues.org: he's anti-rehabilitation of prisoners, loves putting people to death, and he's resoundingly anti-gay. How do you vote against adding sexual orientation as a definition of hate crime? Someone beat down Larry Craig, please? i did not knowingly wiggle his jimmy - "He admits to going into the bathroom, he admits to moving his foot, he admits to reaching his hand down," Martin said on NBC's "Today" show. "That's not a crime." this is funny enough without embellishment. actually I will make a joke - Craig maintains he inadvertently touched the officer's foot but made no hand gestures. He said he was merely picking up a piece of paper. WHO THE HELL TOUCHES SOMEONE'S FOOT IN A PUBLIC BATHROOM? was it like "hey there, buddy, seems to be some toilet paper on your loafer there...let me pick it off." he should resign even if it were innocently grabbing ass paper from restroom floors. that's disgusting.
- AMD to launch new 4-core server chip: i don't know what that means, but i'm sure a few thousand technophile just got wood.
- MTV Awards flourish despite Britney bomb: mmm, white trash paunch - Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance. HAHAHAHA. the battle of who's more irrelevant - An off-camera fight between Pamela Anderson exes Kid Rock and Tommy Lee led Jamie Foxx to quip: "Stop all this white-on-white violence." i guess all those venereal diseases have finally mad them go crazy. wahhh - Kanye West, in another article, reportedly did not like coming up empty. Kanye, seriously, you're overrated as a rapper, and you keep giving away your best beats when you produce for others. Your new album sucks. Get over it. Also, that get up you had on made you look like a retarded Black Muslim.
- This just in...Sen. Hagel leaving Congress after '08: I like Hagel because his name is one of the only words that rhymes with bagel...unless you count Day-Glo, in which case we'd be rapping about the 80's. Its hammer time.
- Homo politicus: brain function of liberals, conservatives differs: huh, huh, you said homo. genetic differences between the parties - The brain neurons of liberals and conservatives fire differently when confronted with tough choices, suggesting that some political divides may be hard-wired, according a study released Sunday. Finally we see that the difference between MSNBC and FoxNews is due to the brain. I always hypothesized that watching FoxNews was a result of brain damage...but I guess you had to be born with it. break it down - Conservatives tend to crave order and structure in their lives, and are more consistent in the way they make decisions. Liberals, by contrast, show a higher tolerance for ambiguity and complexity, and adapt more easily to unexpected circumstances. I totally agree with this statement, I think, maybe. close read this - A group of 43 right-handed subjects were asked to perform a series of computer tests designed to evaluate their unrehearsed response to cues urging them to break a well-established routine. 43 subjects!?? that's really the results to make such a sweeping generalization? can you tell if the writer is biased? - Or one could, with equal justice, conclude that wishy-washy liberals don't stick to their guns, while conservatives are steadfast and loyal.
- No rise in Ark. obesity, but many worry: that the decrease in obesity may have been the result of Pres. Clinton moving to Manhattan. wow, that's a crappy joke that would have sucked back in the 90's.
- Ancient escape hatch found in Israel: how many "Lost" jokes can we think of for this news story! ohhhh, help me Desmond! Help me Locke! Guide my humor!
- Calif. gray whale shot with machine gun: somewhere, Charlton Heston is smiling - An injured California gray whale was swimming out to sea Saturday after being shot with a machine gun off the western tip of Washington state, officials said. apparently members of the Makah tribe thought that their tribal hunting rights included being able to use a .50 caliber machine gun. someone shoot these guys.
- FDA considers additional food labels: some proposed labels, "this doesn't really taste like cheese," "packaging appears larger than actual product within," "guaranteed to give you man boobs," and "suitable food item replacement for sex."
- Three Stooges Museum in Pa.: "Woob-woob-woob-woob-woob!"
That's enough for now.
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